And I wanted a homemade Lemon Cake with Lemon Curd in the middle and Swiss Meringue Frosting. Yum!
So, I had it. I did not try to lighten it up. I did not find an alternative.
I chose to enjoy what I really wanted on my birthday.
And I ate the entire cake! WHAT?? That sounds terrible, right? Well, it really wasn’t.
You see, eating healthy and losing weight is NOT about DEPRIVATION. And it is NOT about EXCESS either.
Eating healthy and losing weight is about MODERATION.
And yesterday I practiced that moderation.
And today, there is no guilt. Today I do not feel deprived. Today I am NOT obsessing about what I missed out on.
My husband and I made the lemon cake, but instead of turning the batter into a 2-layer 8-inch cake, we made mini-cakes in my big muffin tins. They were the perfect size.
In the words of Goldilocks, they were “just right”!
We made 4 total mini cakes, (yes, I am having one more today!) and then we threw out the remaining batter! WHAT? Who does that? Isn’t that wasteful? As my mother and grandmother used to say, “You can’t waste that, there are starving children in the world!”
I threw it out anyway!
It was not hard. It felt good. Because I knew that I was not depriving myself of the treat I wanted. And by tossing out the excess batter, I was not creating a temptation I knew I could not resist.
I have learned the past couple of months as I continue to traverse this journey, that deprivation sabotages my efforts. It just does! And for me deprivation doesn’t just mean NOT having the food I want, it means forcing myself to eat a less satisfying, less flavorful, lower calorie/lower point version of what I am wanting. And that substitution often leads me to eat more of that substitution, not saving me calories or points, leaving me less satisfied and sabotaging my efforts. (some substitutions, like spaghetti squash for pasta, work for me as they are still delicious, but for my treats, well….the real thing in a smaller portions is better!)
So, I had my lemon cake in moderation. And that is what works for me.
I enjoyed my birthday. I went for a long walk in the morning, I got a delicious breakfast sandwich from Panera after my walk and had a yummy dinner cooked by my husband, with my Lemon Cake for dessert.
And I ate the whole cake! Saying that without feeling guilt really empowers me. I CHOSE to have this treat. I CHOSE to enjoy my day. I CHOSE to toss out the unused batter. And I CHOSE to eat the whole cake! Mini cake that is!
What could be better?!
This journey is far from perfect for me. It is a journey of learning what really works and what doesn’t. It is a journey of growth. It is a journey of learning how my thoughts help and how they hinder my progress. By choosing to have the treat, and choosing to have it in moderation, I put myself back in control, taking away the power that food and guilt have had and can still have over me.
I am learning. I am growing.
I can get health. I can lose weight. And I can have my cake too!
The last time I wrote I was struggling with defining what success looked like to me, for this pandemic. And I set a goal—to track most days, to be mindful in my eating, to focus on things I could control rather than those I couldn’t….. well……
My focus has not been there. Motivation is hard to find when the “routine” things I rely on are not routine any longer.
Things are still not back to normal. I am still staying home. I am still doing online shopping. I am not getting together for lunch with my friends. I don’t get to go to my workshop. I am not meeting with my friends to walk and talk. I am not running errands. I am staying home almost all of the time.
Life used to be chaotic. Life used to be busy. Life used to be routine. My world was bigger than it is now. My world now, is here, at home.
I miss routine. I miss hugs. I miss meeting friends and visiting with them. I miss having people over to my house. I miss walking into a store. I miss…… a lot.
So, with these days still in the twilight zone, motivation is hard to find.
I am finding ways to deal with things. Instead of in person gatherings, there are messages, emails, phone calls and video chats. Not the same, but better than total isolation. I am writing, maybe not here on my blog or on my other blog, but I am writing. I am watching lots of movies and binge-watching Netflix. I am scrapbooking, traveling the world through my memories and pictures. And I am practicing mindfulness through meditation and walks in my pool.
But…. I miss my life!
When routines are out the window, motivation is hard to find. The world feels chaotic. Stressful. Uncertain. And that is when old habits pop back up!
Emotional eating has always been my Achilles heel. And right now, that habit has come roaring back. It is familiar. It is routine. It is “normal” in a world that does not feel so normal. Habits bring comfort. Even habits that are not healthy.
Habits make it so that we do not have to think. It just happens automatically. Without thought. Sometimes that is a really good thing. Imagine if you had to think about it each time you brushed your teeth, took a shower, tied your shoes…. You get it, right? I just do those things, no thinking about how to do it, the steps involved, nothing….just do it. Those habits free my mind to think about other things.
But some habits are not so helpful. They are still automatic, and I don’t think about them, but in the long run they just don’t help.
In many WW workshops we have talked about habits. And I am currently reading (for the 5th time) the book “Target 100”, written by Liz Josefsberg (a former WW Leader and now motivational speaker and weight loss coach) and I am listening to a masterclass on the CALM app called “Breaking Bad Habits”. All three reinforce the same thing—a habit consists of a trigger, followed by a behavior, followed by a reward. The trigger causes the behavior and the reward reinforces that behavior and then we repeat the habit. We get something from the habit, or we would not keep repeating it.
But what do we get? What is the reward?
Those are the questions I asked myself when this happened—Lemon Double Stuffed Oreos! and I ate most of them in less than 24 hours. There were only 3 left when I asked my husband to PLEASE throw them away, in the big garbage can so I couldn’t get to them. Only 3 left. That is when I KNEW I was emotionally eating. Until that moment, yesterday, I hadn’t really been paying attention. The chips didn’t signal me to stop. The cookies. The crackers. The bagels. The brownies. The cake. No, none of those made me think that maybe, just maybe I was eating more from emotion than true physical hunger.
I was tired. So, I ate.
I was stressed. So, I ate.
I was lonely. So, I ate.
I was sad. So, I ate.
I was angry. So, I ate.
I was bored. So, I ate.
I was……. (fill in any emotion). So, I ate.
Then those Lemon Oreos happened. And this morning I listened to more of the masterclass on CALM. Yes, you guessed it. Todays lesson on breaking bad habits hit on eating—non-physical hunger eating. And I heard the question— “What do I get from this? Is there something better?”
What do I get from eating when I am not hungry? What reward does food provide me?
Food provides those things for me. But only temporarily. For a moment. Then the guilt steps in and I eat again. It is a cycle. A habit that is not helpful. A habit that I know I can change, I have done it before…… but life is different now and going back to old habits brought about a comfort I need when the world is as uncertain as it is right now.
But awareness is the first step to changing a habit. And now I am aware (again). So, how to change it? How do I stop eating when I am tired? Bored? Stressed? Lonely? Sad? Etc.?
I have to work with the habit loop. The emotion is my trigger. And instead of it triggering me to eat, I need another action—call a friend, write, go for a walk, scrapbook, read, take a nap, swim, just sit outside, listen to music, dance…. There are so many things I could do instead. So many things that would give me what I need, reward me in ways that won’t make me feel guilty. So many things that will provide me a reward that is the same or better than what food provided me… and the reward from a non-food behavior will be much more long-term instead of temporary.
But there are a lot of emotions that drive me to eat and changing them all at one time, will be too overwhelming. So, this week, I am going to focus on one. And I am going to be specific about the new behavior. Being specific means, it will be doable. And I am going to be accountable, right here, because accountability means I am more likely to do it.
So here is my plan, my habit change and how I am going to do it this week–
Stress is the hardest emotion for me to not eat. Instead of eating, when I am stressed, I am going to go outside—in the pool, in the hammock or walk. How will I remind myself to do that instead of eating? My sandals will be by the door and on my fridge and pantry will be a picture of my backyard with the words– Feeling stressed? Go outside! You won’t feel guilty after!
And my reward will be the calm I will feel.
Stress (trigger)— Go outside (behavior/action)— Calm (reward)
What’s your plan to battle the emotional eating habit? What are you going to do instead and how are you going to remind yourself to do it?
A couple of weeks ago WW asked a question in the weekly given to members each week (currently online versions only) as part of that weeks topic. The same question I asked of members in my workshops when we would discuss goals—seasonal, holiday, long-term, short-term— and it had me thinking.
What does success look like to you??
We are in the midst of uncertain times. Days are filled with stress, worry, interrupted routines….. life does not look the way it did a few months ago. Change is hard. Emotions can make the journey of weight loss and being healthy difficult. Old habits can creep back in, unnoticed at first and then…. Well, before we know it old habits are the go-to, taking the control from our newer, healthier habits. And we wonder what the heck happened!
I have been asking myself every day for the past couple of weeks—What does success look like to me? What will make me feel good and successful when this pandemic is over, the stay-at-home order is lifted, and life gets back to “normal” for me? Where do I want to be on my journey when I get to be back in my comfort zone? Ahhh…….THAT comfort zone. Where I feel safest, where things are easy, where change doesn’t happen…. But, as I have said before, stepping outside my comfort zone is where the greatest growth happens. Maybe, just maybe, defining success for me and what it looks like, will help me to navigate this uncomfortable area, give me a goal and a focus for taking care of me and help me continue down the path of being the healthiest and best version of me that I can be…
What does success look like to me, now? An important question. Asking it makes me look at my journey, and what I want, what is important. Without asking and defining success for me, I cannot set goals or identify the steps I need to take that will help me move toward that success. Without asking and defining success, I am essentially choosing to let emotions and old habits take over…. I would be traveling down a road with no plan, no map, no eventual destination, eventually ending up in a place I do not want to be.
So, I have been asking the question every day. And the answer hasn’t been easy to find. I know that long-term I want to be at or below my goal weight. I want to be healthy. Don’t we all? So WHY is it SO HARD to define and picture what success looks like for me—success at the end of April? The end of May? The end of this pandemic?
Worry, sadness, loneliness, stress, anger, anxiousness…… those darned emotions! Uncertainty. Not knowing what is going to happen. Not being able to CONTROL what is going to happen. Being outside my comfort zone where I have little control over events. Yes, these are the things that make it difficult to focus on my goals, on me.
Yet, I have NOT lost all control. I control my choices, though the choices are limited and different right now, I still have a choice. I control my attitude and how I react to the things that are outside my control. I GET to choose what success looks like for me, despite the current circumstances I find myself in. So, I have not really lost ALL control.
Once again, I go back to that question asked a couple weeks ago—What does success look like to you? For each of us, it will look different—losing weight, maintaining weight, not gaining more than a few pounds… or not weight related at all, instead success is a behavior—continuing to move every day even if it is in a different way, or controlling portions or any other behavior that moves us toward health and weight loss. Defining what success looks like will help us to set a goal and then the plan for how to get there can be formed.
Taking everything into consideration, I have finally come up with what that looks like for me. Success for me is NOT going to be focused on weight, though weight loss will be a benefit of achieving my success. And frankly, focusing on the weight right now is just too darn stressful. So I am taking a break from the scale and removing some stress at a time when stress is so high. INSTEAD I am going to FOCUS on something a little less stressful for me. Success for me, when this is all over, will be that I tracked most days. Success means I paid attention to my portion sizes, sticking to small portions, weighing and measuring them.
I CANNOT control much right now, but I CAN make a CHOICE to be mindful when I eat, even if the food is higher in points. Portions and tracking are key to success for me. When this is over, and I look back on these months of uncertainty, I will be proud of myself for tracking and for controlling my portions. I know I won’t necessarily be perfect, which isn’t what this is about. As long as I track and pay attention to portions MOST days, FORGIVING myself for the times I slip a little, then that is TRUE SUCCESS! And I will feel successful, no matter what the scale says.
Because, sometimes success IS NOT about the scale. Sometimes success is about a BEHAVIOR. Especially when that behavior gives me some control at a time when life is feeling so out of control. And right now, controlling what I can and letting go of the rest is most important.
My goal through this is to track, weigh and measure my portions and make the best choices I can, for me right now. Now I can set my course, map my route and create a plan.
FIRST STEP is just to track ONE meal and the portions. Focus on ONE meal. My food scale and measuring tools are on my counter to remind me to pay attention to portions. First step. One step.
Going to just take this one-step-at-a-time. One-day-at-a-time. One-meal-at-a-time. One-choice-at-a-time.
The benefit is that I will be more mindful, more present, more focused. And we all know that the scale follows along, eventually.
What does success look like to you? What will make you feel successful when this lockdown is over, and life starts to get back to normal? Where do you want to be the end of April? The end of May?
Once you decide what success looks like for you and what your goal is, then ask yourself, “What is ONE thing I can do right now, TODAY, THIS WEEK that will get me on the path toward success?”
CAN you do that one thing? WILL you do that one thing?
One step at a time. One day at a time. One choice at a time.
And then I heard the garage door open and in walked my husband and my son with bags. Bags of food!
I was sooo excited!!!
And Anxious!!
Did they find any? Were they successful?? Oh… just let me see!!
You see, times are challenging right now. Our country, the world, is experiencing a pandemic and it is causing panic across the country. Add to that, neither my husband nor I can drive right now, and we both are moving a little slower than normal, he because of recent total Knee Replacement surgery and me because of a severe back injury. So, we rely on our son to take us places.
During this challenging time, stores have been out of my “go to” foods, at least later in the day when my husband could get to the store. What???
It feels as if my world has turned upside down overnight. (not just because of the lack of food choices currently available.) And I am lost. How am I going to stay on plan? How am I going to make healthy eating a priority when all that is left in the stores are the foods I have avoided for years, foods that are way too high in fat or sugar, and the foods that were my go-to foods for dealing with emotions??
I just want my low point/low calorie bread, my extra lean ground turkey and ground beef, fresh fruits, fresh veggies and so much more…. But those are very hard to find. Instead, on my husband’s previous trip to the store, there were a few cans of high calorie soup, some Velveeta mac & cheese, a loaf of high calorie (and therefore high point) bread, and not much in the way of fresh veggies….
I am not used to shopping this way. I am not used to having to figure out my meals based on what I have available. I am a planner. I plan 2-weeks’ worth of dinners and then go shopping based on my planned dinners. Oh, I don’t always stick to the plan, not strictly anyway. But planning the meals helps me create my grocery list which in turn keeps me on track. But now I am not able to do that. The chances that those items I would need to make those meals, would actually be on the shelves in the stores was quite low. And that had me feeling even more discombobulated….. more lost….. Ugh!
So here I was, a couple of weeks into the craziness in the stores and a month since my last trip to get groceries (our pantry and fridge were quite low since I only shop for 2 weeks at a time.) and I was waiting, anticipating what he would find this time….. 2 previous trips to the store had not garnered those much-desired items…. But maybe, just maybe, this time would!
Let me tell you, when he walked in with bags in hand, I was ready to explode! And finally I was able to go through the bags, finding some high calorie things I would not normally eat, including brownie mixes, frostings, cookie and cake mixes… and THEN I found the gifts (insert childlike scream and huge grin!)
They FELT like GIFTS. Those precious, precious gems! I felt like a kid in a candy store or a kid opening a much desired gift on Christmas morning— my butter!! Zucchini!! Strawberries!! Cucumbers!! Tomatoes!! Yogurt!! Flour!! Yeast!! Onions and Potatoes!! An Avocado!! Apples!! Low fat buttermilk!! Canned Chicken breast!! Oh my!! Yes!! Score!! We struck gold!!
NEVER in my wildest imagination would I have imagined that I would EVER be this excited about vegetables! Or fruit! Or Yogurt! I was ecstatic. I was that kid on Christmas morning who just opened that one present that was the only one I had wanted!
For years I have enjoyed fresh fruits and veggies. And I miss them when I don’t have them. Now with the stores being so very crazy and running low on my favorites, I was really missing my foods, the foods I have relied on to keep me healthy, to keep me on plan and to fill me up.
My husband just smiled and then laughed while he watched me.
Now to figure a way to use these low point gifts, along with the higher calorie/higher point foods (that I hadn’t eaten in a really long time) to make meals that would help me eat healthy, stay in my points and keep me satisfied. And I needed to get creative to make the meals that would keep me from gaining weight during this stressful and challenging time, when staying home is necessary and exercise wasn’t possible.
Yes, this would be a challenge.
But, I was ready to RISE UP to the challenge, get creative and put my health at the top of my priority list.
All those years sitting in WW workshops and all the years I had worked for WW and stood in front of members, facilitating the workshop had prepared me for this challenge. I had tools to help me. The tips I had heard over and over in those workshops were the tools I needed now.
Those tips came rushing back to me—
–Wash and prep fresh produce BEFORE putting them in the fridge (I have not always been great at this, and many a fruit and vegetable have died a slow death in the vegetable bin of my refrigerator). Done! This fresh produce needed to be treated like diamonds, rubies, and other precious gems.
–TRACK! Track everything! Even if I don’t know the points value, at least write it down. Take a picture of the food if I can’t write it down. Tracking, with or without the points keeps me aware of what I am eating. And how often I am eating. And whether or not I am really, truly physically hungry. TRACK!
–Portion Control! Weigh and measure EVERYTHING! Now, more than ever, this is important for me to do! Paying attention to my portions keeps me mindful. And mindful eating is important for me, an emotional eater. The emotions I am feeling and trying to sort through threaten to sabotage my efforts to be healthy. Portions help me to control the amount of points I consume while using he higher point value foods, taking the control from the food and putting it back in my hands.
–Have a Plan! So important. Just like a plan helps when we go to a party, potluck or out to eat, planning meals will keep me on track. And planning how many points I want to use for a certain meal will help me navigate the higher point foods and meals I have in my kitchen right now.
I have discovered this past week that by watching the portion sizes and tracking everything, I CAN stay on plan and within my points, even with higher calorie/higher point foods. I just eat a smaller portion. I decide ahead of time how many points I want to use and then portion it out to meet my planned points. And I am satisfied. Planning Works!
–Try new recipes. Mix it up. Keep food from becoming boring– Instead of planning my meals and then getting the ingredients, I am now having to look in my pantry and my fridge/freezer and plan meals based on what I have on hand. Some meal ideas come easier than others. Grilled Chicken and frozen veggies. Easy. But those are limited items right now in my kitchen so I can’t do it every day. I have to plan so that I can stretch those ingredients into more meals. And that, along with the current choices in my kitchen (many things I would not and have not used in a long time) is making me get creative with my meals. I look through my recipes and cookbooks as well as online for meal ideas and recipes that help me make a delicious, flavorful, and filling dinners. And sometimes I just wing it, using what I have on hand to create a flavorful meal.
I am using my leftovers more than I ever have. NOTHING goes to waste!
I am having fun creating. I am excited about meals again. It isn’t boring! I am having a blast channeling my inner Chef. I am loving pretending I am a participant on WW MasterChef!
I am making homemade bread! Buttermilk biscuits. Brownies. Hamburger Buns. Donuts. I am using high point meatballs in my spaghetti (just one. It is all about the portions!) and using pasta because I haven’t had zucchini to spiralize. I am grilling, sauteeing, and air-frying. I am repurposing leftovers from dinner for breakfast and lunch the next day. And I will be using canned pumpkin (I LOVE pumpkin spice EVERYTHING!) because that is what I have in the pantry. Tonight, I am making my grilled Greek turkey burgers, with some substitutions, of course, and homemade hamburger buns. And we are having a big salad too, thanks to the greens, tomato and cucumber my husband brought home. The salad will save points so that I can enjoy the homemade hamburger bun and higher point ground turkey.
So. Many. Ways. To. Be. Creative.
I am finding success during this challenging time. I am playing with my food again, in a good way. I am trying old favorites. I am experimenting. I am eating things that previously scared me because they were so high in points. I am eating foods I avoided.
And you know what? I am in control. I am enjoying my meals. I am not feeling deprived!
All the things I have learned, all the things I have heard, and all the tips shared in WW workshops, are helping me to find balance, to find my creativity and to stay calm during this time of uncertainty. And I am finding success!
What are you doing to stay on track? How are you getting creative in the kitchen? How are you channeling your inner chef? How are you staying mindful when it comes to your food choices? What is your plan?
Sharing our challenges, successes and tips will help us all to get through this challenging time. Together. Because we ARE better TOGETHER!!
I am amazed at how fast the year has flown and how quickly Thanksgiving has arrived. 2 more days!
I love Thanksgiving! It is a lot of food prep and work for me to cook the holiday meal for my family, though the past couple of years have been a bit easier….less food and less prep. Tomorrow morning, I begin making pie. And I love pie!
Pie is a staple of Thanksgiving! Apple pie, Chocolate Cream Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Pecan Pie….. oh, there are so many pies to choose from!
For years I made three types of pie every Thanksgiving—Pumpkin Pie (either one deep dish or 2 regular pies), Chocolate Cream Pie (with an Oreo crust) and Pecan Pie (for my husband, as I do not like Pecan pie). I would have a slice of Pumpkin pie and Chocolate cream pie on Thanksgiving after dinner (from which I was over-stuffed and really had no room for pie). And then as I watched a movie later at night I would have another slice of Pumpkin pie. Breakfast the day after Thanksgiving was always easy for me—Chocolate Cream pie and Pumpkin pie.
Pie all day long until it was gone. And the size of the slice varied, depending on what meal and how many pies I was eating at that time.
I really did not pay attention to portion sizes or what a true portion of pie looked like. Why should I? It was Thanksgiving Day….. weekend….. week…. And I was surprised when I would gain 10 or more pounds over the “eating season”?! Maybe the excess pie had something to do with it (and the cookies in December, too!).
Then I joined Weight Watchers in March of 2006 for the 5th time. That first Thanksgiving I went to the workshop and made a plan…kinda…. But not really. But I did pay attention. It was that workshop where my then leader showed us the plate and how we could use that plate to really see a true serving size of pie. WOW!THAT was a HUGE eye-opener! Because, what she showed us was the same size as the small piece of pie I would cut when I was having both Pumpkin and Chocolate Cream pies…. I thought my 2 small pieces were less than or equal to one piece of pie. Boy was I wrong!
It was not until Thanksgiving 2007 that I took that lesson to heart and really paid attention to my portions for Thanksgiving and for Pie. My leader again showed us the plate demo for a pie slice and I again was amazed. But this time I was serious and determined to reach my goal….I was so close and so I stuck to that serving size of pie—one slice.
And I was satisfied with one slice…one true portion of pie! Who knew?! I did not need the excessive amount of pie. I did not feel deprived eating a portion and sometimes even smaller. And I could enjoy my pie.
Over the years I have adapted recipes and found ways to enjoy pie without the guilt…. Always paying attention to the serving size. Last year I made a slow cooker Crustless Apple Pie from skinnytaste and it was delicious! It is now a staple for my Thanksgiving and for other times of the year. I still make the Chocolate Cream pie for my son and have a slice and that satisfies me. I don’t make Pumpkin Pie because I am the only one who eats it and I don’t need the whole pie…instead I make a Pumpkin Spice truffle with Pumpkin Pie yogurt, crushed graham cracker and whipped topping. Oh…it is good! And this year I will be using Pizzelle cookies to make pie shells for the slow cooker apple pie filling and for the pumpkin yogurt…..very low in calories and smartpoints and delicious! I can enjoy a treat or two or three and still feel in control.
And when I have that one slice of Chocolate Cream Pie, I will have that true serving size based on this plate demo—this is what my leader showed us all those years ago and what I shared with those who attended the Weight Watcher workshops I led every year –
Take an 8-inch paper plate—This represents an 8 inch pie.
And fold that plat in half— No that is not a serving size of pie….. we may want it to be…but…..
Fold the plate in half again— okay, this looks like my kind of pie slice….but this is NOT a true serving size of pie, Not the size slice of pie that those smartpoints are based on…. So…..
Fold the plate in half again— Now THIS, THIS is a true portion of pie. 1/8 of an 8-inch pie is what the smartpoints are based on. This right here is a true portion of pie…doesn’t look too small….until you place it in your hand or on a dessert plate…with the fork next to it. And those Costco pies? Well this is a pretty small slice of that pie!
This Thanksgiving enjoy your pie. Eat it. Savor it. Before enjoying it, practice this plate demo…..Being aware of what a serving size of pie looks like, helps us with portions and helps us to not feel guilty!
The week before Thanksgiving. Traditionally, at least in the past, this week before Thanksgiving meant the annual WW Great PlateThanksgiving prep workshop. I loved that week in Weight Watchers meeting rooms. I looked forward to it every year. That workshop gave me an opportunity to plan for the holiday meal, to learn tips and tricks for navigating a food laden holiday and one that could be stressful.
I learned a lot in that one annual workshop. The first time I attended and really absorbed the ideas of the Great Plate workshop was 2006, on my 5th journey with WW. My then leader, gave us all paper plates and then we planned.
This year and last year we did not do the Great Plate workshop and I miss it! I miss the planning, the discussion of the point values of all our favorites, the ideas shared, the tips on how to navigate the day and the weeks that followed. I miss the recipes shared, and the tips on making a favorite recipe a little lighter, and lower in point values. I miss the connection with others and sharing of challenges that the holidays presented and how we could get through those challenges.
Workshops were then and still are where the magic happens! And I have learned a lot over the past 13 years in those workshops from other members sitting in the chairs. With Thanksgiving next week, I have been thinking a lot about what I learned for many years in the Thanksgiving Great Plate workshops and how I could use those lessons this year.
How do I navigate the holiday? What has helped me and will help me as I go through this years “eating season”?
Here are just a few of the things I have learned these past few years—
–-Know your budget—And build it! Whether your budget is calories or points, know what it is and how to increase it. With WW we all have a daily and weekly budget to spend on food. Know what that is for yourself. Save those extra weekly points for the day of your holiday meal. Add in some fitpoints, earned through exercise and activity for the week leading up to the holiday. Save some of those daily points and roll them over into the weekly to use for the holiday meal. All of this builds a great budget for us to use and not feel guilty when we indulge in our favorite foods!
–Plan your meal—This is what the Great Plate workshop did…. It helped us to plan our meal. What are you going to have? What are the special family foods that will be at the meal? Write your meal on a paper plate so you can see what you will be eating on Thanksgiving. Planning and visualizing the meal will help when the day finally arrives.
–-Know the smartpoint values of the food—Once you plan your meal, check the point values of the foods you would like to eat, the ones you wrote on your plate. Knowledge is power and knowing what the food will cost you, will help you to plan and to build your budget so you have plenty to spend on your holiday meal. Look up the smartpoints of your foods on the WW app and run your recipes through the recipe builder to get the smartpoint values. And if you don’t have the app or recipe then estimate—look for similar foods. Know before you go… Know before you eat!
–Lighten up Recipes—There are tons of recipes online (Skinnytaste, Emily Bites, Pound Dropper, WW) that are lighter versions of favorite Thanksgiving foods. Try one or two. Or find ways to substitute ingredients in recipes that will bring down the calories and ultimately lower the point values…try light butter, use phyllo dough for pie crust, use unsweetened applesauce in place of oil, use egg whites, etc. Over the years I have made many changes in recipes, some were successful, and we still use them (Cauliflower Stuffing from Delish) and some didn’t work so well…. There are just some foods that we love as is, and that don’t work when we lighten them up. The most important thing is to find a way to lighten up a recipe without losing the flavor—that is how we will feel satisfied and we won’t feel deprived!
–Choose Wisely—focus on the foods that are special for this holiday and skip the food you eat regularly. Walk around the buffet table BEFORE dishing up your plate and pick what is really worth it to you. What is worth it to you?? I only make my roll recipe for Thanksgiving and Christmas and attempts to lighten the recipe just didn’t work….it wasn’t the same, so those rolls are absolutely worth it to me and I will spend a chunk of my budget on those rolls. Knowing and building your budget and planning how to spend that budget BEFORE Thanksgiving will help you to make decisions that work for you and that are worth it to you!
–Skip the Stretch– wear tighter Clothing—Don’t wear loose fitting, stretchy clothes to Thanksgiving. Why? Well, have you ever eaten a big Thanksgiving meal and had to unbutton your pants or loosen your belt? That is why we don’t wear loose fitting clothes. Tighter pants will help us to stop eating sooner, keeping us from eating to the point of being over-stuffed and about to burst. Skip the stretch this holiday season!
–Get in some activity—before, during and after Thanksgiving. Go for a walk after the meal….. Play some football…. Participate in a Turkey Trot…. Go for a hike…. Just move a little and maybe start a new family tradition. My husband and I go for a long walk or a hike on Thanksgiving morning. It helps me to feel like I have earned a little treat but more importantly that activity puts me in the right frame of mind to stay on track and not over-indulge too much.
–Pay attention to Portions—some serving utensils are also measuring utensils in disguise and you can use them to dish up your food without anyone knowing you are portioning out your serving. You can also use your hand to estimate portions. If measuring isn’t an option and you can’t remember the hand portion estimates you can always use the Island method—a method I shared with my members every year that I coached the Great Plate Workshop—Make Islands NOT continents or volcanoes on your plate with your food. Making islands helps to control portion size and keeps us aware!
–Have an anchor—An anchor is the thing, thought, or visual that reminds you of your goal, your why. You have set a holiday goal of where you would like to be on January 1st, now find an anchor that reminds you of your goal. It can be something you can touch or a mantra you say or a photo or a picture in your mind. Whatever your anchor is, use it to help you get through the Thanksgiving holiday.
–Enjoy the day—focus on loved ones. Focus on conversations and traditions. Yes, Thanksgiving is a food holiday, but it is also a day to enjoy family and friends and to be thankful. Have your plan but don’t stress about it…. control what you can and let go of the rest. And Enjoy the day!
–Have a “Day after” plan—yes, pre-plan the day after. Get rid of the leftovers so they aren’t tempting you. Plan the healthy meals you will enjoy the day after Thanksgiving. And plan the kind words you will say to yourself if you over-indulge and go off plan. Plans are great, but sometimes we just take a detour. If you have the “day after” plan ready it will make forgiving yourself easier and will help you to get right back on track.
What is your plan for Thanksgiving? How are you going to handle the day? How will you build your budget? What foods are worth it to you?
Knowledge is power! And planning is a powerful tool. Use it to help you navigate the day so that you feel successful!
And remember—Don’t Gobble ‘Til you Wobble!
It is a HoliDAY, NOT a HoliWEEK!
(One more surviving the eating season blog post is coming—the next one will be on pies and pie servings with a visual on how to estimate what a true serving size is!)
We are smack-dab-in-the-middle of the “eating season”. The season that kicks off on Halloween and ends with the New Year. The Holiday Season. The challenging season.
I refer to this as the “eating season” because of all of the food that abounds during these two months… the parties, the celebrations, the gatherings and the holiday….. ALL centered around food! And THAT is a challenge for me…. for anyone who struggles to lose weight and/or maintain their weight.
So how do we navigate the holidays? How do we get through them without feeling like a failure?
More importantly, how do we survive this “eating season” and feel successful?
First, we must define what success means to us through the holiday season. What will make you feel successful when January 1, 2020 arrives? For me success has looked different through the years.
Back in 2006, success through the holidays for me was to not gain more than 10 pounds. In 2007, success meant I would lose weight, any amount would count, even .2 lbs. In 2008, my first holiday season at goal and as a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers, success meant maintaining.
Some years I didn’t think about it, didn’t think about setting a goal. Some years I set goals based on what success looked like to me. By defining what success meant on January 1st of the coming New Year, I took away the power that guilt held over me and gave myself the power to control my choices. I was in control. And defining what success meant to me, it gave me a focus, something to work toward and gave me flexibility. My choices followed whatever my definition of success was.
This year, success through the holidays looks like a loss at the scale. It doesn’t matter to me the amount, just that it is an overall loss on January 1st.
But how am I going to do that when there are so many temptations? When there are so many challenges?
That is where the second step comes in. Once you decide on what success looks like to you, you can then set your goal based on that. The holiday goal is what success looks like to you. My holiday goal this year is to lose, at least a little. To step on the scale that first week in January 2020 and see a loss from where I am today. That is my goal.
Then once you set your holiday goal, ask what steps you need to take to get there. What will help you to get to that goal? What will help you to achieve success?
For me, having a loss over the holidays does not mean that I HAVE to deprive myself. It does not mean that I won’t get to enjoy the holidays…all the events….all the gatherings….all the celebrations. And it does not mean that I won’t be able to enjoy my favorite foods and treats. Because, if I deprive myself….if I don’t enjoy the holidays…..if I stress about the celebrations and parties and holiday gatherings because I tell myself I CAN’T have this or that…..if I deny myself my favorites….. I am doomed! I am setting myself up for failure. I am setting myself up for a big slip down that slippery slope.
So, how do I enjoy the holidays without over-indulging? How do I enjoy the holidays and all that they bring and STILL reach success as I have defined it for myself?
I do it by setting my holiday goal, and by figuring out what will help me to achieve that success!
I know that eating mindfully is important for me, especially during challenging times. And mindful eating means that I am tracking. Tracking gives me awareness of how much I am eating, and what I am eating. And mindful eating and tracking also means I am paying attention to portions. So, tracking and portion control will help me to reach success. But I need more to help me as well. Moving will help. Exercise will help. And movement and exercise are two different things. Exercise for me is intentional. It gets my heart rate up. It works my muscles to exhaustion. So, exercise in the form of my bike, strength-training, and walking (fast) will help me to get closer to that holiday goal. But I need to do more than a workout. I need to move during the day. I need to not sit so much. Moving in the form of parking farther away, cleaning house, getting out in my garden, going for a leisurely walk after dinner, dancing around the house to my favorite holiday music, and making sure I get up out of my chair every hour will help me move closer to my holiday goal and help me to reach success. And going to workshops will help me. I need to step on the scale. I need the accountability and I need the inspiration and support of others traveling this road we are on.
Once we are aware of what we need to do, of the tools that will help us to achieve our success, then we can set small, weekly goals to help us get to that bigger holiday goal…. One-step-at-a-time! Each week, ask yourself, what can I do this week that will move me a little closer to my holiday goal? What one thing can I do this week that will help me reach my success? And set that smaller weekly goal. Just one thing.
For me, this week, tracking will be key. Tracking every day. Tracking every food I eat. Tracking the portions. Tracking my exercise. Tracking will give me the awareness I need about my food and exercise habits. And tracking will give me the information I need to make adjustments next week… adjustments that will help me reach success!
How do we navigate and survive this “eating season”? By defining success as it pertains to each of us. Then setting our holiday goal based on what success means to us. Once the goal is set, coming up with the actions that will help us to reach that goal will give us a focus. And then we ask what we CAN do this week that will move us closer to our holiday goal. Once we answer that question, we set a smaller weekly goal to get us moving in the direction of success. This is how we survive the holidays. This is how we reach success; whatever success means to each of us.
And then one final question—after asking what you can do, and setting the smaller goal ask yourself–WILL you do it? Because we all CAN do it, but the real question is Will we do it! And that is where the commitment and power lie!
What does success this “eating season” of holidays look like to you? What will make you feel successful when January 1, 2020 arrives?
I can come up with hundreds. But none of those excuses will help me to get where I want to be. None of those excuses will help me to reach my goals.
The only thing excuses do, is keep me from becoming the me I want to be, the me I strive to be. Excuses keep me stuck, unable to reach the goals I set. And excuses keep me beating up myself.
Every day I step on the scale. Dread fills me as I look at the number. I know what it is going to say. When I started this blog last April I was 26 lbs over my goal. Now I am 29 lbs over my goal.
And that frustrates me!
And then I justify my weight with a myriad of excuses. Excuses that keep me from reaching my potential. Excuses that fill my mind with negative thoughts and words.
I am working on changing those thoughts. I am working on ending the excuses.
Today I get real. With myself. And with you. No more hiding behind the mask of excuses. No more lying to myself. No more “I’ll start tomorrow”, because guess what—tomorrow never comes!
No more excuses.
I am where I am because I have not made me a priority. Period. And there is no excuse for that. How can I be the best me, if I don’t make myself a priority? And that doesn’t mean that I become selfish in the sense that I never do anything for anyone and only do what I want for me.
Making me a priority means–I face my emotions instead of eating them. I find time in my day to move more. I find the time to spend on self-care. I make time to fix healthy meals. I make time to meal plan. I get a good night’s sleep. I spend time with my family. I make time for walks with my husband. I make time for date nights. I spend a day in my pjs watching movies if that is what I need. I write.
Making me a priority means letting go of the stress, anger, and other emotions that I allow to make me eat. And it means letting go of the things I cannot control.
Making me a priority means living my life to the fullest. And it means loving myself, imperfections and all.
No excuses.
So, today I start, right now…not tomorrow, today! And I start now 29 lbs over my goal weight. No beating myself up over this, because that won’t help and will lead me right back down the excuse lane. Instead I will celebrate that I am getting real with myself. I will celebrate that I did not gain the entire 72lbs back. I will celebrate that I am alive and can now work on what needs to be done.
Because, after-all, I am worth it!
I know it won’t be perfect, but who needs perfect? I just need to keep moving, keep learning and keep growing!
Well….. I have been doing this a LONG time…. 13 years now,
not counting all my previous attempts. So,
you would think I would remember… that I would know better…. But…..
Yes, I have been struggling, but I decided to start again
with tracking, something I have not been consistent about for quite some time. Yesterday was pretty good. And this morning I had EVERY intention of having
a great, stick-to-my-points, day.
And then this happened.
It is small…..really small…. The smallest ice cream cup a person can buy. Only 3.6 oz. Can’t hurt, right? I had a great on point breakfast and then decided to have a tiny treat….
I ate it all, which wasn’t much! And then I went to track it and wanted to
check the points. It is less than a ½ cup
serving, so it had to be less than the 12 smartpoints I usually track for a ½ cup
of this ice cream. (note to self, this ice cream ranges from 11-15 points per ½
cup and this particular flavor is 14 smartpoints per serving).
WHAT was I thinking??? I know to ALWAYS look up the point
values BEFORE eating. Oh. My. Gosh. How many times over the last 13 years have I
talked about or heard about checking points before eating? Yet, I thought I knew the points without
looking, it was smaller than a normal serving size after all. HA!
This little, less than ½ cup serving of ice cream was…. Wait
for it….. 13 smartpoints!! 13!!! WHAT!!
So, here I am. The
experienced Weight Watcher member and former coach and I figured I KNEW what
the points would be without double checking.
Oops! A lesson learned. A reminder to check BEFORE eating.
And a lesson in slips.
They happen. We all slip. We all hit that bump in the road. We all have those “Oh my gosh” detours. And even the experienced have those moments.
But that slip is NOT failure. The bump does NOT derail everything. It is a just a moment in time. A moment on the journey that allows for
feedback. It is an opportunity to learn. To realize what works and what doesn’t. An opportunity to see that sometimes on this
journey we slide a little, sometimes even a lot, but it doesn’t mean we have
failed and cannot succeed. We learn and we
can get back on track. We move on, rerouting
the journey so that we keep moving forward…. One-slip-at-a-time….. One-step-at-a-time….
That slip is just another steppingstone on the path to
success!!
So, I tracked that little bit of ice cream. And combined with my breakfast, I am almost
out of points for the day. The day is
just starting. Good thing I have those 0
point foods to rely on today! And those
extra points for the week. I have my plan
for the rest of the day and this slip WILL NOT derail my progress!
This is proof that I am really on a perfectly imperfect
journey! And all is still right with the
world!
It finally happened.
My favorite swimsuit, died. I
have had that swimsuit for 10 years. I
wore it a lot! And this week, I wore it
for the last time. When pool season
started a couple of months ago, I noticed that my swimsuit was getting thin…REALLY
thin. Uh Oh!
And this week I put it on to jump in my pool and the skirt
hung down to my knees. The material had
separated. It was done. Time to throw it away and move on.
But THAT meant a trip to the store to buy another
swimsuit.
THAT was terrifying.
Trying on clothes in stores, looking at my reflection in the mirror, has
never been my favorite thing to do. Not
when I was at my heaviest. And not when
I was at my thinnest. Those mirrors are
not flattering. And looking at my flaws
was discouraging.
We are our worst critics and it is easier to see the flaws…..
those things we don’t like about our bodies tend to stand out, making us notice
them first. I know…. It is a mindset
thing…..
So, the thought of trying on a swimsuit was just a bit
stressful. But I had to do it. It would be far worse to buy the swimsuit that
I had not tried on first and have it not fit or not cover certain parts of my
body. And I know that would be far worse,
because I have purchased swimsuits, more than once or twice in my lifetime,
that I did not try on first. And those
NEVER worked out!
I headed to the store and found a few suits to try on, in a
size I thought would work and styles I felt would cover what I wanted covered
and colors that would make me smile. I
was trying to see the positive.
And then I stepped into the dressing room….. Ugh! Those mirrors! Swimsuit shopping is far worse than any clothes
shopping trip. At least with shirts, I could
find layers to cover the parts I was ashamed of, the extra weight I was
carrying….layers creating the illusion that it wasn’t there, that I was thinner
than I thought. Layers would hide the flaws.
A swimsuit though, hid nothing. Yes, a skirted swimsuit would help to hide
the hips, but the rest, well it was all there for anyone and everyone to
see. A swimsuit hid none of the flaws.
That is HARD to see. REALLY
HARD! Especially for a person who is hard on themselves. There is so much body shaming in our world,
so many faked and photo-shopped photos of how a woman’s body “should” look,
that it is often difficult to see beyond those flaws, to see the positives, to
love our bodies and celebrate what they can do.
And standing in that dressing room, reminded me just how hard it is and
that I still have work to do, myself.
Because, if all I see or look for is the flaws or the
negatives, well THAT is absolutely ALL I will see. And I will NEVER see the positives or the
beauty and strength. I have worked long
and hard on this. I have struggled to
change the mindset, sometimes successfully, sometimes failing. I have done the exercises talked about in WW workshops,
where I look in the mirror and find the things I love about my body, the strengths
I have.
Standing in that dressing room, yesterday, trying on quite a
few swimsuits, I realized that, yes I still have work to do. I don’t know that I will ever fully switch my
mindset, but I can be more aware and mindful of my thoughts and the words I say
to myself. And thanks to my journey with
WW, I have the tools to help me change my mindset and the tools that help me to
be mindful of what I am saying to myself and HOW those words affect me.
Yes, I was stressed. Yes, I was dreading the mirror. Yes, I was dreading all the flaws that the swimsuit would highlight. But I still went swimsuit shopping. I faced the mirror. I faced the criticism running through my mind. I confronted the words of my dad, that I still hear, all these many years later. And I tried on swimsuits. Oh, some were awful! Just awful. But I found two swimsuits that didn’t make me completely cringe….. actually, they made me smile because they were filled with color, LOTS of bright colors rather than the solid black I usually picked.
I faced my dread and shut down the negative thoughts as I
stood there in that dressing room. Okay,
I may not be where I want to be. I may
not have that thin waste, and I may see too much loose skin. But, there are positives and THAT is where my
focus needs to be, something I have learned to look for and notice through my
journey with WW (Weight Watchers). And
it is the lessons learned and aha moments in workshops that helped me switch what I was
thinking while standing in front of the dressing room mirror in a flaw-revealing
swimsuit. I could see some positives– I
have legs I love. My legs are strong. I tan easily in the summer sun. My smile brightens my eyes. And my eyes come from my birth mom. THOSE are the positives I will focus on for
now. Those are the images that will keep
me going as I work toward my goals and toward becoming my best self.
Changing my mindset.
Thinking differently. Choosing differently. THAT is a part of this journey I am on. I may be my own worst critic. I may not love everything about my outward
appearance. BUT if I stop looking for,
purposely looking for, those negative flaws and instead CHOOSE to see the positives,
well then I WILL reach my goals. Because
our choices reflect our thoughts.
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLD!
I am doing that now. I am refocusing on the positives, thanks to the death of my favorite swimsuit!
Perfectly Imperfect Journey 