Category: Mindset

I Ate the Whole Cake and I Do Not Feel Guilty!

On By TerriIn Food, Mindset, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Yesterday was my birthday.

It was just one day.

And I wanted a homemade Lemon Cake with Lemon Curd in the middle and Swiss Meringue Frosting.  Yum!

So, I had it.  I did not try to lighten it up.  I did not find an alternative. 

I chose to enjoy what I really wanted on my birthday.

And I ate the entire cake!  WHAT??  That sounds terrible, right?  Well, it really wasn’t. 

You see, eating healthy and losing weight is NOT about DEPRIVATION.  And it is NOT about EXCESS either. 

Eating healthy and losing weight is about MODERATION.

And yesterday I practiced that moderation.

And today, there is no guilt.  Today I do not feel deprived.  Today I am NOT obsessing about what I missed out on.

My husband and I made the lemon cake, but instead of turning the batter into a 2-layer 8-inch cake, we made mini-cakes in my big muffin tins.  They were the perfect size. 

In the words of Goldilocks, they were “just right”!

We made 4 total mini cakes, (yes, I am having one more today!) and then we threw out the remaining batter!  WHAT?  Who does that?  Isn’t that wasteful?  As my mother and grandmother used to say, “You can’t waste that, there are starving children in the world!”

I threw it out anyway!

It was not hard.  It felt good.  Because I knew that I was not depriving myself of the treat I wanted.  And by tossing out the excess batter, I was not creating a temptation I knew I could not resist.

I have learned the past couple of months as I continue to traverse this journey, that deprivation sabotages my efforts.  It just does!  And for me deprivation doesn’t just mean NOT having the food I want, it means forcing myself to eat a less satisfying, less flavorful, lower calorie/lower point version of what I am wanting.  And that substitution often leads me to eat more of that substitution, not saving me calories or points, leaving me less satisfied and sabotaging my efforts.  (some substitutions, like spaghetti squash for pasta, work for me as they are still delicious, but for my treats, well….the real thing in a smaller portions is better!)

So, I had my lemon cake in moderation.  And that is what works for me.

I enjoyed my birthday.  I went for a long walk in the morning, I got a delicious breakfast sandwich from Panera after my walk and had a yummy dinner cooked by my husband, with my Lemon Cake for dessert.

And I ate the whole cake!  Saying that without feeling guilt really empowers me.  I CHOSE to have this treat.  I CHOSE to enjoy my day.  I CHOSE to toss out the unused batter.  And I CHOSE to eat the whole cake!  Mini cake that is!

What could be better?! 

This journey is far from perfect for me.  It is a journey of learning what really works and what doesn’t.  It is a journey of growth.  It is a journey of learning how my thoughts help and how they hinder my progress.  By choosing to have the treat, and choosing to have it in moderation, I put myself back in control, taking away the power that food and guilt have had and can still have over me. 

I am learning.  I am growing.

I can get health.  I can lose weight.   And I can have my cake too!

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A Detour Can Lead To Success, Too

On By TerriIn Activity, Mindset2 Comments

Three years ago, today, I completed my first 10k EVER!  And it was at Disney World.  I wrote about that experience and what I learned on a blog here.  That 10k showed me that I could accomplish so much more than I ever thought I could, just by pushing myself to step outside my comfort zone.  And finishing that race made me proud of myself, REALLY proud of myself. 

Funny how that memory popped up in my Facebook newsfeed today.  A day when I am looking back on the goal I set for myself January 1st, 2020.  The goal to complete the Run the Year challenge and to complete all 2,020 miles in that year.  It was a lofty goal for me, to say the least.

I set that goal with the same determination that got me through the 10k and with the knowledge learned from that race that I was capable of so much more than I gave myself credit for.  I was pushing myself to step outside my comfort zone, once again.  And this time I was encouraged and inspired by a wonderful group of ladies—friends I walk with and participate in 5k’s with.  These ladies inspire me to keep moving, even when I don’t want to.

The thing about goals is that they need to be realistic.  Was the goal of completing 2020 miles in one year realistic?  For some yes.  But for me?  At the time I set the goal I believed it was.  I believed it would be challenging.  REALLY challenging.  And I knew I would have to push myself a little harder, that I would have to make myself get out and walk those miles.  But I also knew I was going to be doing a number of 5ks over the year and that would mean lots of long walks in training for those races.  Yes, I BELIEVED it was reasonable.  More importantly, I BELIEVED it was doable for me!  I BELIEVED I could do it! 

THAT, of course, was before the year 2020 showed its true colors. 

I started off the challenge strong.  The first week of January 2020, which was only 5 days, I managed to get 28.89 miles!  Ahead of the 5 miles I knew I would need on average each day.  I GOT this! 

The second week of January was even stronger, 36.7 miles!!  I was on my way to success. 

And then I got sick the middle of the third week, and my miles slowed.  I was able to still accomplish 22 miles for the week, thanks to not being sick the first few days. 

The fourth and fifth weeks of January found me still sick, but I pushed a little each day (mainly just walking in my house) and finished the month with 105 miles.  THAT was success for being so sick. 

I was sick for a full 4 weeks.   And that slowed me down.  I missed my favorite 5k.  I was falling behind on my goal.  But it was only February and I had the rest of the year to finish.  I still believed I would accomplish my goal. 

Once I was feeling better I was able to finish February with 98 miles total!  YES!  I could and would do this!  I had NOT stopped believing!

And then…..

A serious back injury sidelined me.  For a long time.  I finished March with a total of 3.5 miles. 

3.5 miles for an ENTIRE month! 

I wanted to quit.  I stopped wearing my fitbit.  I would NEVER reach my goal and I stopped believing I would.  Why bother?

But the thing about goals is that they CAN be adjusted. 

I realized that 2,020 miles was too lofty of a goal, given my health issues.  And then add in the pandemic and more health issues and that goal was no longer realistic or achievable.  To continue to push toward the goal, to continue to tell myself that I HAD to reach that goal would be to set myself up for failure.  And that was NOT acceptable.

Sometimes the road on our journey is filled with potholes and closed roads.  Sometimes we take a detour.

But taking the detour does not mean we will not eventually reach our destination.

A detour can still get us to where we were going, it just may take a little longer and it may look a little different.  And sometimes the detour sends us to a different destination, that ends up being the destination we were meant to arrive at, at that moment in our lives.

Detours are an opportunity to learn and to build on those lessons.  It is an opportunity to make adjustments based on what is working and what is not.

2020 sent me on a detour far from my original goal of 2,020 miles.  And I was frustrated, defeated and even began to feel like I failed.  I wanted to quit! 

But I was NOT failing.  Life happens.  And sometimes we need to make adjustments.  We need to consider the circumstances in our lives, control what we can and not stress about what we cannot control.  We then re-evaluate and set a new goal and we take that detour to success. 

Changing an unrealistic goal to one that is more realistic is NOT giving up or a sign of failure.  Instead, adjusting goals set us up for success.  Adjusting goals gives us motivation. And THAT helps us to continue our journey.

The detour took me quite a bit off course, but I did not fail.  I pushed on.  I persevered despite my challenges.  

I adjusted my goal and set a new one.  One that was more realistic for me at that time in my life–500 miles.

And I achieved my goal of 500 miles.  In fact, I surpassed my goal, achieving a total of 689 miles for the year. 

I am very proud of myself for achieving my new goal and for not giving up on me! 

I did not quit and THAT is what makes me a success!

Whatever your challenges, whatever the detour, as long as you do not give up on YOU, then YOU are a success! 

Adjust those goals when you need to and keep going!

Here’s to 2021

On By TerriIn Activity, Food, Inspiration, Mindset1 Comment

Happy New Year!  I don’t know about you, but I am so thrilled to have 2020 behind me and am looking forward to 2021 and a return to some normalcy. 

A new year offers an opportunity for change.  An opportunity to recommit to our goals. 

New Years day often finds us making resolutions…. Promises to lose the weight, get healthier, workout more, and so much more. 

Did you make your resolution yet? 

I stopped making resolutions years ago.  Why?  Because, frankly, I never keep them.  I always had grand ideas of what I was going to accomplish, but often lost motivation a few weeks, sometimes a few days into the new year.  So, I stopped making resolutions.   Instead, I decide a theme for the year, something that helps me to grow into a better version of me, something that challenges me to step outside my comfort zone and to make real change.  Something that encompasses ALL of me, not just my weight or health. 2021 is the year I continue to live mindfully, present in the moments of each day and it is the year I focus on kindness, toward others and myself as well as focusing on daily gratitude.   

But not setting a New Years Resolution does NOT mean I don’t set weight/health goals when the new year arrives.  I set them all year, but the new year allows me to refocus. and gives me an opportunity to look back and see what worked and what didn’t work the previous year.  Then I can set my course toward the goals I have in mind—long term goals and short-term goals.  I can learn from the past and use those lessons to help me achieve the goals I have for myself in the new year. 

2020 was rough.  REALLY rough.  I struggled. I started 2020 by getting a virus in mid-January that turned into pneumonia, keeping me from participating in my favorite 5k race…. The race I look forward to ALL year.  I was sick for over a month.  And then, a couple of weeks after getting better, I injured my back, seriously.  I couldn’t walk.  I couldn’t do anything for a few weeks.  Slowly I got better.  Slowly my back began to heal….. but by then, we were in the midst of a stay-at-home order and I wasn’t going anywhere.  Life just stopped.  For everyone.  Our routines were upended.  Life as we knew it was at a complete halt.  Being sick was stressful.  Being in pain was stressful.  BUT a pandemic, and all its effects, THAT was even more stressful. 

Stress became the daily staple of my life.  And my weight was showing it.  I found myself 34 lbs above my goal weight and very close to a point I said I would NEVER go back to again.  NEVER!  I had to do something.

But we were in a pandemic.  And what worked for me in the past, well, it wasn’t there now.  I couldn’t meet with my friends for weekend walks.  There were no in person 5ks to sign up for or train for.  And Weight Watcher workshops were all online…..which just isn’t the same.  I couldn’t talk to friends online before the workshop or visit after.  It was NOT the same.  The world was different, and I was going to have to figure out how to do this differently.

All of this added to the struggles of 2020.  I am an emotional eater, so the stress, the worry, and the fear were taking a toll. I REALLY struggled.  (Oh, how I long for the day I can meet with friends and hug people again!) 

More health struggles popped up for me…. the end of May found me excessively tired and dealing with a bad cough.  This lasted for months.  I thought I was losing my mind….it had to be all in head, right? And then more symptoms, more pain, this time in every joint of my body….severe enough to prevent me from walking at times or prevent me from using my hands to pick up something…… making any thought of exercise out of the question!  And bronchitis….. Finally, in early December, a diagnosis of Valley Fever and the beginning of treatment.  THIS was and still is testing my patience, but that is for another post.

Yes, 2020 was a struggle. 

Yet, I found, through the challenges that I have inside me, what I need to get to where I want to go.  I have what I need to reach my goals, right there inside of me. 

I just have to believe in myself. 

I have to make me a priority. 

I have to remember what is really important to me. 

I have to remember to not give up what I want most for what I want in the moment.  

And I have to remember just how far I have come!

I took the first steps to getting back on track the beginning of November.  I stepped on the scale and told my husband right away what it said.  He is my weight accountability now.

What other steps have I taken to get me back on the path that will lead me to my goal?  This–

—A little movement is better than NO movement!  I found that if I wait until later in the day, the pain is not quite so severe and I can go for a walk, sometimes just around the block and sometimes a mile or two.  Just depends on how I am feeling.  I also discovered that the more I sit, the more pain I am in, so moving helps me heal.

—Tracking and portions!  I found that tracking is not so difficult on a phone app.  I am not perfect in my tracking, but I am tracking.  That awareness is so very important.  How can I know what I need to adjust if I don’t know what and how much I am really eating?  And that means, weighing and measuring my food too. 

—Accountability and motivation—I still use my WW app and read the stories, but I don’t follow the points for now.  I track calories and I pay attention to calorie-density of foods.  I look for the foods that will keep me full longer and keep me satisfied.  I have an accountability coach that checks in with me every week to see how I am doing and helps me to set a new weekly goal.  And I find motivation online, reading stories of others and in my talks with and messages with my friends. 

—I am taking time for me.  Time for meditating, using the CALM app and time to just read or listen to music.  With all the stress of these days, I need to take a step back and just breathe sometimes. 

—And starting today, I am adding yoga to my days, to help with the pain and to give me those moments where I can just breathe. Another way to take care of me.

These are just the first steps in taking back the control of my health and my weight.  And they are working.  I am down 9 lbs now in 2 months.  Would have been more, but Christmas goodies happened…….

I am jumping into 2021 full speed.  I have my long-term goal to get to my goal weight and then below it.  And I have my short-term goal—just 5 lbs.  5lbs at a time.  I CAN do that! 

Add to that my 2021 theme of being kinder to others and to myself, practicing daily gratitude and living mindfully and the year should be a much better one!

This journey, though, is far from perfect!  But it is so worth it!  I am worth it!  And so are you! 

What are your goals for 2021?  What are you doing to get yourself on that road toward your goals? 

Let’s do this together! 

Here’s to 2021! 

What do I Get From Lemon Oreo Cookies?

On By TerriIn Food, Mindset, Uncategorized6 Comments

It has been a while since I have written. 

The last time I wrote I was struggling with defining what success looked like to me, for this pandemic.  And I set a goal—to track most days, to be mindful in my eating, to focus on things I could control rather than those I couldn’t….. well……

My focus has not been there.  Motivation is hard to find when the “routine” things I rely on are not routine any longer. 

Things are still not back to normal.  I am still staying home.  I am still doing online shopping.  I am not getting together for lunch with my friends.  I don’t get to go to my workshop.  I am not meeting with my friends to walk and talk.  I am not running errands.  I am staying home almost all of the time.

Life used to be chaotic.  Life used to be busy.  Life used to be routine.  My world was bigger than it is now.  My world now, is here, at home. 

I miss routine.  I miss hugs.  I miss meeting friends and visiting with them.  I miss having people over to my house.  I miss walking into a store.  I miss…… a lot. 

So, with these days still in the twilight zone, motivation is hard to find.

I am finding ways to deal with things.  Instead of in person gatherings, there are messages, emails, phone calls and video chats.  Not the same, but better than total isolation.  I am writing, maybe not here on my blog or on my other blog, but I am writing.  I am watching lots of movies and binge-watching Netflix.  I am scrapbooking, traveling the world through my memories and pictures.  And I am practicing mindfulness through meditation and walks in my pool. 

But…. I miss my life!

When routines are out the window, motivation is hard to find.  The world feels chaotic.  Stressful.  Uncertain.  And that is when old habits pop back up!

Emotional eating has always been my Achilles heel.  And right now, that habit has come roaring back.  It is familiar.  It is routine.  It is “normal” in a world that does not feel so normal.  Habits bring comfort.  Even habits that are not healthy.

Habits make it so that we do not have to think.  It just happens automatically.  Without thought.  Sometimes that is a really good thing.  Imagine if you had to think about it each time you brushed your teeth, took a shower, tied your shoes…. You get it, right?  I just do those things, no thinking about how to do it, the steps involved, nothing….just do it.  Those habits free my mind to think about other things. 

But some habits are not so helpful.  They are still automatic, and I don’t think about them, but in the long run they just don’t help.

In many WW workshops we have talked about habits.  And I am currently reading (for the 5th time) the book “Target 100”, written by Liz Josefsberg (a former WW Leader and now motivational speaker and weight loss coach) and I am listening to a masterclass on the CALM app called “Breaking Bad Habits”.  All three reinforce the same thing—a habit consists of a trigger, followed by a behavior, followed by a reward.  The trigger causes the behavior and the reward reinforces that behavior and then we repeat the habit.  We get something from the habit, or we would not keep repeating it.

But what do we get?  What is the reward?

Those are the questions I asked myself when this happened—Lemon Double Stuffed Oreos! and I ate most of them in less than 24 hours.  There were only 3 left when I asked my husband to PLEASE throw them away, in the big garbage can so I couldn’t get to them.  Only 3 left.  That is when I KNEW I was emotionally eating.  Until that moment, yesterday, I hadn’t really been paying attention.  The chips didn’t signal me to stop.  The cookies.  The crackers.  The bagels.  The brownies.  The cake.  No, none of those made me think that maybe, just maybe I was eating more from emotion than true physical hunger. 

I was tired.  So, I ate. 

I was stressed.  So, I ate.

I was lonely.  So, I ate.

I was sad.  So, I ate.

I was angry.  So, I ate.

I was bored.  So, I ate.

I was……. (fill in any emotion).  So, I ate.

Then those Lemon Oreos happened.  And this morning I listened to more of the masterclass on CALM.  Yes, you guessed it.  Todays lesson on breaking bad habits hit on eating—non-physical hunger eating.  And I heard the question— “What do I get from this?  Is there something better?”

What do I get from eating when I am not hungry?  What reward does food provide me? 

Comfort.  Relief.  Numbness.  Avoidance.  Distraction. 

Food provides those things for me.  But only temporarily.  For a moment.  Then the guilt steps in and I eat again.  It is a cycle.  A habit that is not helpful.  A habit that I know I can change, I have done it before…… but life is different now and going back to old habits brought about a comfort I need when the world is as uncertain as it is right now.

But awareness is the first step to changing a habit.  And now I am aware (again).  So, how to change it?  How do I stop eating when I am tired?  Bored?  Stressed?  Lonely?  Sad?  Etc.? 

I have to work with the habit loop.  The emotion is my trigger.  And instead of it triggering me to eat,  I need another action—call a friend, write, go for a walk, scrapbook, read, take a nap, swim, just sit outside, listen to music, dance…. There are so many things I could do instead.  So many things that would give me what I need, reward me in ways that won’t make me feel guilty.    So many things that will provide me a reward that is the same or better than what food provided me… and the reward from a non-food behavior will be much more long-term instead of temporary.

But there are a lot of emotions that drive me to eat and changing them all at one time, will be too overwhelming.  So, this week, I am going to focus on one.  And I am going to be specific about the new behavior.  Being specific means, it will be doable.  And I am going to be accountable, right here, because accountability means I am more likely to do it.

So here is my plan, my habit change and how I am going to do it this week–

Stress is the hardest emotion for me to not eat.  Instead of eating, when I am stressed, I am going to go outside—in the pool, in the hammock or walk.  How will I remind myself to do that instead of eating?  My sandals will be by the door and on my fridge and pantry will be a picture of my backyard with the words– Feeling stressed?  Go outside!  You won’t feel guilty after! 

And my reward will be the calm I will feel. 

Stress (trigger)— Go outside (behavior/action)— Calm (reward)

What’s your plan to battle the emotional eating habit?  What are you going to do instead and how are you going to remind yourself to do it?

What Success Looks Like to Me

On By TerriIn Mindset, Uncategorized2 Comments

A couple of weeks ago WW asked a question in the weekly given to members each week (currently online versions only) as part of that weeks topic.  The same question I asked of members in my workshops when we would discuss goals—seasonal, holiday, long-term, short-term— and it had me thinking.

What does success look like to you??

We are in the midst of uncertain times.  Days are filled with stress, worry, interrupted routines….. life does not look the way it did a few months ago. Change is hard.  Emotions can make the journey of weight loss and being healthy difficult. Old habits can creep back in, unnoticed at first and then…. Well, before we know it old habits are the go-to, taking the control from our newer, healthier habits.  And we wonder what the heck happened!

I have been asking myself every day for the past couple of weeks—What does success look like to me?  What will make me feel good and successful when this pandemic is over, the stay-at-home order is lifted, and life gets back to “normal” for me?  Where do I want to be on my journey when I get to be back in my comfort zone?  Ahhh…….THAT comfort zone.  Where I feel safest, where things are easy, where change doesn’t happen…. But, as I have said before, stepping outside my comfort zone is where the greatest growth happens.  Maybe, just maybe, defining success for me and what it looks like, will help me to navigate this uncomfortable area, give me a goal and a focus for taking care of me and help me continue down the path of being the healthiest and best version of me that I can be… 

What does success look like to me, now?  An important question.  Asking it makes me look at my journey, and what I want, what is important. Without asking and defining success for me, I cannot set goals or identify the steps I need to take that will help me move toward that success.  Without asking and defining success, I am essentially choosing to let emotions and old habits take over…. I would be traveling down a road with no plan, no map, no eventual destination, eventually ending up in a place I do not want to be.

So, I have been asking the question every day.  And the answer hasn’t been easy to find.  I know that long-term I want to be at or below my goal weight.  I want to be healthy.  Don’t we all?  So WHY is it SO HARD to define and picture what success looks like for me—success at the end of April? The end of May? The end of this pandemic? 

Worry, sadness, loneliness, stress, anger, anxiousness…… those darned emotions!  Uncertainty.  Not knowing what is going to happen.  Not being able to CONTROL what is going to happen.  Being outside my comfort zone where I have little control over events.  Yes, these are the things that make it difficult to focus on my goals, on me. 

Yet, I have NOT lost all control.  I control my choices, though the choices are limited and different right now, I still have a choice.  I control my attitude and how I react to the things that are outside my control.  I GET to choose what success looks like for me, despite the current circumstances I find myself in.  So, I have not really lost ALL control. 

Once again, I go back to that question asked a couple weeks ago—What does success look like to you?  For each of us, it will look different—losing weight, maintaining weight, not gaining more than a few pounds… or not weight related at all, instead success is a behavior—continuing to move every day even if it is in a different way, or controlling portions or any other behavior that moves us toward health and weight loss.  Defining what success looks like will help us to set a goal and then the plan for how to get there can be formed.

Taking everything into consideration, I have finally come up with what that looks like for me.  Success for me is NOT going to be focused on weight, though weight loss will be a benefit of achieving my success.  And frankly, focusing on the weight right now is just too darn stressful. So I am taking a break from the scale and removing some stress at a time when stress is so high. INSTEAD I am going to FOCUS on something a little less stressful for me. Success for me, when this is all over, will be that I tracked most days.  Success means I paid attention to my portion sizes, sticking to small portions, weighing and measuring them. 

I CANNOT control much right now, but I CAN make a CHOICE to be mindful when I eat, even if the food is higher in points.  Portions and tracking are key to success for me.  When this is over, and I look back on these months of uncertainty, I will be proud of myself for tracking and for controlling my portions. I know I won’t necessarily be perfect, which isn’t what this is about. As long as I track and pay attention to portions MOST days, FORGIVING myself for the times I slip a little, then that is TRUE SUCCESS! And I will feel successful, no matter what the scale says. 

Because, sometimes success IS NOT about the scale.  Sometimes success is about a BEHAVIOR. Especially when that behavior gives me some control at a time when life is feeling so out of control.  And right now, controlling what I can and letting go of the rest is most important.

My goal through this is to track, weigh and measure my portions and make the best choices I can, for me right now.  Now I can set my course, map my route and create a plan. 

FIRST STEP is just to track ONE meal and the portions.  Focus on ONE meal.  My food scale and measuring tools are on my counter to remind me to pay attention to portions.  First step.  One step. 

Going to just take this one-step-at-a-time.  One-day-at-a-time.  One-meal-at-a-time.  One-choice-at-a-time.

The benefit is that I will be more mindful, more present, more focused.  And we all know that the scale follows along, eventually.   

What does success look like to you?  What will make you feel successful when this lockdown is over, and life starts to get back to normal?  Where do you want to be the end of April?  The end of May? 

Once you decide what success looks like for you and what your goal is, then ask yourself, “What is ONE thing I can do right now, TODAY, THIS WEEK that will get me on the path toward success?” 

CAN you do that one thing?  WILL you do that one thing?

One step at a time.  One day at a time. One choice at a time.

Here is to 2020!

On By TerriIn Activity, Food, Inspiration, Mindset1 Comment

It is the end of the year, the end of another decade and a time for reflection. 

2019 was a good year.  But I did not accomplish all the goals I had set for myself.  Sometimes life steps in and we have to adjust our sails and get back on course.  It happens.  Life happens. 

I am looking forward to 2020!  I have already set some goals for myself when it comes to my health, my fitness, my weight and my mindset.  All things I have control over.  And all areas I struggled with in 2019.

September saw the beginning of a few months of health issues for me.  And lots of visits to doctors.  Ugh!  Let me tell you, health issues can be quite the wake-up call.  Thankfully, all is well.  But all the testing and doctor orders kept me from exercising the last few months of 2019, completely throwing off my game-plan for my 5ks. 

Life happens.

Sometimes we need to adjust those goals so that they are more reasonable and achievable.  Adjusting goals is far better and much more motivating than giving up.  So, I adjusted.

My goal for my upcoming January 5k will be to finish, instead of pushing myself beyond what my body can do, because I want to reach my original goal of finishing my fastest 5k.  If I did not adjust my goal, I would be setting myself up for disappointment and failure, both of which would sabotage any efforts I may attempt at getting healthy and would make me give-up.  It is better to adjust goals than to give up!

My goal for getting back to my lifetime WW goal did not materialize.  So, I am giving myself more time.  The goal to lose that much weight in such a short period of time was not reasonable.  Adjusting my goal to losing more slowly is far more achievable and takes the pressure off me, removing the guilt that ends up sabotaging me and making me quit.  Adjusting goals is better than giving up!

So, thinking about what I want to achieve in 2020—better health, better mindset, healthy weight loss and better fitness, has me thinking about the steps I can take now to help me move toward those long-term goals.  The steps I can take today, this week and the coming month.

Breaking the long-term goals into smaller steps makes the end not so far away, makes it seem as if those goals are within reach and it motivates me.  Each small step taken and achieved gives me confidence that I CAN do this and I WILL do this.  Each step is another step on the path to success.  And those missteps, the detours, well they are another steppingstone helping me to build my path to success. 

I have got this!

The past two days I have taken a couple of steps toward those long-term goals of better health, fitness and mindset. 

First I signed up to do the Run the Year 2,020 miles in 2020.  Yes, 2,020 miles in one year.  I was not going to do the Run the Year.  Friends of mine had done the 2019 Run the Year and were registered to do the 2020 Run the Year, but I was going to skip it.  But my health issues gave me quite the wake-up call and yesterday, I decided that the Run the Year race was exactly what I needed to motivate me to move more, to get out and walk more.  So, I registered.  And the race bling is added incentive for me! 

The second step was to purchase a new Fitbit.  My old one died.  And I have not worn a fitness tracker in over a month now.  My birthday is coming up soon, and I told my husband that I wanted the gift of health this year and that meant a new Fitbit.  I am wearing it right now.  An early birthday present.  One that will motivate me to move more.  To walk more.  Another step on my journey to my goals.

I am planning for 2020.  I am looking forward to 2020.  I am certain I will achieve the goals I set for myself this coming year.  I know it will be a great year.  With the support of my family and my “tribe”, I CAN and I WILL move forward….

One step at a time!  One small goal at a time!  One day at a time!

Here is to the new year!  I hope that all your goals are achieved this year—one small goal at a time! 

This Change Gives Me Control

On By TerriIn Food, MindsetLeave a comment

I love that WW (formerly Weight Watchers) is now giving us a choice….making this the most personalized program I have seen in my many years as a member of WW. 

This week, WW is launching the new program—My WW.  And I am excited.  Why?  Because there is choice!  Weight loss, weight maintenance and healthy living have never been a one-size-fits-all way of life.  Every person is different.  And what works for one may not work for another.  So, we find what works for us.  Any food/exercise/health plan needs to fit into our lives so that it is livable.  If the food plan is not livable will we be successful….maybe in the short run but not for the long run.  And the long run is what makes us healthier for life! 

WW realized this and implemented the new program this week, offering a choice of three food plans so that members can choose the one that will work for them in their life.  Every couple of years WW changes the program, and the changes are always backed up by science.  And as you probably know, science changes, we learn new things and adjust.  In the past, the program changes meant getting rid of the old, even if it worked for members and moving everyone to the new plan.  There was never an option to stay with the previous plan, the tools all supported the new plan.  There was no choice.

Not this year!  Not this change!  With the introduction of My WW and the offer of 3 food plans to choose from, WW is also providing the tools for each plan.  We get to choose what works for us, which makes much more sense to me, because the only person who really knows what works for me is me!  And now I have the support of WW and the tools to go along with my choice. 

Before I get into the changes and the choices I want to talk about what is staying the same— the things I loved about Freestyle—freedom and flexibility.  That comes from the weekly extra points budget and roll overs.  Those are NOT changing.  I love that the rollovers are staying.  Those rollovers give me a lot of flexibility.  The option to save some of my daily budget for holidays, weekends, my birthday or anytime I need a little extra.  And that provides me with less guilt.  I can enjoy an indulgence without the guilt because I have planned and saved for those indulgences.  Those weekly extra budget points also allow me to enjoy going out to eat with family and friends and they will give me the freedom to enjoy a piece of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. 

There is also no change in how food points are calculated.  The points are still smartpoints and take into consideration calories, saturated fat, sugar and protein in assigning point values to food.  No change there!  And, no change in how we figure our daily smartpoint budget—it is still based on age, height, weight and gender. 

Fitpoints earned for activity and exercise is not changing either.  And the ability to choose whether or not you swap those Fitpoints for smartpoints is not changing—we still get to decide whether or not to swap and that helps us to personalize our plan.  I love to earn Fitpoints, but I don’t like to swap them.  My choice.  And one that works for me! 

So, then what is changing?

We now have the choice of 3 food plans—Green, Blue, and Purple!

Green is equivalent to the old smartpoints, Beyond the Scale plan…the plan before Freestyle.  On green you get a higher daily smartpoint budget (the minimum is 30 daily points) and there are fewer 0 smartpoint foods.  Fruit that is fresh, frozen or canned in its own juice is 0 smartpoints and most vegetables are 0 smartpoints (starchy veggies are NOT 0 sp—think potatoes, corn, peas, legumes, etc).  If you need more parameters—tracking, portions, points—then Green is for you. 

Blue is equivalent to the current Freestyle plan.  On blue you get less daily smartpoints for your budget (23 daily points is the minimum) and there are 200+ foods that have 0 smartpoints.  Blue means less tracking for those who don’t want to track everything.  If Freestyle worked for you and you loved it, then Blue is for you!  You do not have to change anything!

Purple is, in my opinion, very close to the old Simply Filling or Core programs.  On Purple you have the least amount of daily smartpoints for your budget (16 is the minimum daily points) and there are 300+ foods that are 0 smartpoints.  There is less tracking to do which gives some that sense of freedom.  If you like that freedom and can eat to satisfaction and stop, then Purple is for you!

All three plans still allow rollovers and give you your weekly extra smartpoint budget.  With all three food plans you only “have to” track the foods with points but can track everything if you want to.  These plans all give us freedom and flexibility so that we can live our lives, our way and still lose weight, maintain and get healthy.  Which one you choose is completely up to you!

I am sure you can guess after my last blog post which plan I am going with— Green.  Why?  Because the parameters of points and portions gives me control.  I don’t have the ability within me to cut-off food, to know when I am satisfied vs stuffed.  Less tracking and less foods with points means I could eat as much as I wanted of those because they were 0 points and then eat my daily points too and most weeks my weeklies.  That didn’t work for me.  I need guidance.  I need the safety net of portions and points.  I need to know that ALL foods count!  So, for me it is Green.  That is not to say that one day I may be in a place with my relationship with food that I could try blue or purple….. and let me tell you purple appeals to me because Potatoes are 0 smartpoints!  I almost chose purple for those “free” potatoes.  But that would be dangerous for me!  Right now, where I am at currently in my relationship with food, “free” foods are like kryptonite!  So, I am going Green!  Because 0 smartpoint foods ARE NOT “free”!!  And until I change that mindset I need to count points for most foods! 

Mindset plays a huge part in my choice.  I know me.  I know where I trip up.  I know what tempts me and sends me down the hole…… I am choosing Green today because the parameters of points and the accountability of tracking along with portioning all foods takes the control from the food and gives it back to me!  I am back in control!

I am really excited for this new plan.  My WW is the most personalized plan I have ever seen.  I am excited for where this is going to take me, and I am excited to see where others go with this new choice in food plans!  Whether you choose Green, Blue or Purple, make sure you choose the one that is right for you, not the one that is right for someone else!  Only you know what is right for you!

Let’s take this perfectly imperfect journey together—-after all, whether we are Green, Blue or Purple, we are in this together and we are better together!

How Cookies led to Self Forgiveness

On By TerriIn Food, MindsetLeave a comment

Just one of those days…..

Last night I met with a group of ladies for our weekly book club (I will be sharing about the book and our group in a future blog post) and our discussion was about stress—how it affects our bodies, our weight and how to begin to change the response habit to stress and create stress relief habits.  It was a great discussion.  And I was ready to work on how I deal with stress…..

We had met at Panera Bread and I had bought a bagel, my favorite, to take home to have for breakfast this morning.  I planned my day ahead so that I could make that 10 SmartPoint bagel work.  And it was good! 

But…..

I got up way too early this morning, ate my breakfast way to early this morning and then started my day.

I was exhausted before the day started and well, exhaustion does NOT bode well for healthy choices!

And the stress hit…. appointments to take my son too (2 before 10 am) and waiting time in a waiting room.  Lots of to-do list items that I needed to take care of, and I was getting pretty stressed about them, while waiting in the waiting room. 

Rushing to appointments so that we are not late STRESSES me! 

Having no control over my schedule and life STRESSES me!

A million things on my to-do list (that may be an exaggeration) STRESSES me!

Starting my day without my quite reading time STRESSES me!

Ugh!  Let’s be real….  EVERYTHING STRESSES me when I am EXHAUSTED!

So, that plan I had for my day to stay on track and make me a priority while enjoying a favorite bagel…. well….. it got lost somewhere between the soda and the cookie isle in the grocery store…..

And the Pepperidge Farm Milano Pumpkin Spice Cookies found their way into my cart, at the register and then in the car heading home.  Once home, the cookies found their way to the end table next to my favorite chair and there I sat, exhausted and stressed.   And I ate a cookie.  Then another…. And another….. and another and before I knew it 2/3 of that bag of cookies was gone.  And I hadn’t even tasted them.  What the heck?

At that moment I stopped.  And I threw the rest in the garbage.  And I remembered what was said in workshops this week about our character strengths and using one of those strengths to help us to reach a goal this week….. I hadn’t chosen which I would use yet.  But today I choose mine while I was sitting there thinking about what I had just done and how it undermined my progress… And before I could beat myself up, I decided that my strength would be forgiveness.  

I am great at forgiving others, but me, not so much.  It is hard to overlook my mistakes, and even harder to let them go without some pretty harsh words directed at me.  So, forgiveness was my character strength this week, one I could use to help me forgive myself.

And I did!  I forgave myself!

I realized that forgiving myself for letting old habits pop up to deal with exhaustion and stress was another way I made me a priority!  I am never going to be perfect.  I know that there will be times that stress leads me into old habits. There will be times that exhaustion leads me into old habits.  I know that there will be times that life throws me curveballs and best laid plans, well they fall apart.  By forgiving myself, I end the cycle— stress, eat, guilt, eat, guilt, stress, eat…. I can then move on and get back on track.

The cookies are counted.  A light dinner had.  And I don’t feel guilty! 

THIS is how I make me a priority!  THIS is how I change old, unhelpful habits.  THIS is how I reach my goals! 

Today forgiveness gave me back some control on my perfectly imperfect journey.

Happy Dance!!

On By TerriIn Food, MindsetLeave a comment

Happy Dance!!  Happy Dance!!  Happy Dance!!

Can you tell I am happy? 

This morning I went to a workshop and I stepped on the scale to weigh in.  I weigh myself every morning (see my previous post here about weighing or not weighing) and I knew it would be down!  Down! 

After all of my struggles the past couple of years and especially this year, I am thrilled to see the number down.  But I have seen this before.  Shoot, the past year I have been up and down a million times.  So, what makes this week any different?  Why am I so happy?  What makes me so sure this is the beginning of continued downs on the scale?

Because things are different….. food choices, behaviors, thoughts, words I say to myself and my mindset….all different.  Finally!

I committed these past couple of weeks to making me a priority.  And that means, I do the things that help me move forward.  It means I am tracking.  It means I am mindful of my food choices, the signals my body is sending me and the thoughts in my mind.  It means I go to a weekly workshop and step on the scale.  It means I meal plan.  It means I remind myself every morning that I am worth it.  It means I am taking care of me—mind, body and soul.  I am making me a priority.  (Seriously, why did it take me so long?) 

This past week I made some changes.  In my mindset, by making me a priority and in my food choices and awareness, which meant I tracked.  Every. Single. Day. 

Food choices were not always the best this past week, but they were made with me keeping in mind that I am the priority.  Each temptation, each meal plan, each food choice was predicated with the question to myself—“Does this make me a priority?”  If yes, then go with it but if not then what will?  The best example of this is on Halloween, yes, that challenging day filled with all sorts of candy temptations.  My husband and I went to a movie, and we got a bag of Twix bites to share.  Before this past couple of weeks, I would have just sat down and ate, without thinking, out of the bag.  And I would have eaten quickly to make sure I got my “share” before my husband could.  But this time, with this new mentality, I actually looked at the back of the bag at the label.  5 pieces were a serving and there were 4 ½ servings in the bag.  I calculated the points (7!) and decided that I could have 2 servings—10 pieces.  I told my husband that I wanted 10 and he could have the rest.  And I ate them slowly.  When I finished the 5th piece, I stopped.  I STOPPED!!  At that moment I knew I was good.  That the treat made me feel like a priority, but I didn’t need anymore.  So, I did not eat another piece.  I made me a priority—enjoying a treat without the guilt or overindulgence. 

The other part of my food changes came in the form of a lightbulb moment!  I realized that when Freestyle launched 2 years ago, that it just didn’t work for me, because I changed, drastically the way I ate.  When it first launched, I was teetering dangerously close to the edge of the cliff and needed to be talked off that edge by a friend and one of my managers.  I knew myself.  I knew that all of those 0 point foods, that used to be points, would be dangerous.  Because now I could eat all of those foods AND STILL eat all of my points!?!  I knew I would overeat.  I knew it would be dangerous for me.  But my manager and friend convinced me to look at it differently…..that those foods would fill me up and keep me from eating the other higher point things….. but for me, personally, that wasn’t how it would work.  But I tried it and convinced my members to follow it and to trust the program. 

Freestyle works for a lot of people.  But not everyone.  Weight loss is NOT a one-size-fits-all journey.  And each of us needs to find what works for us.  Because, we are the only ones who truly know us.  No one else knows what works for me, only I do.  And I often told members in workshops that they needed to find what worked for them, to trust the science and then make the WW plan fit their life.  Make it their own.  We are all on a similar journey, but an individual one.  And I needed to remind myself of what worked for me, so I pulled out my old trackers.  That is when I realized that I had changed the way I was eating.  When I brought out my old program materials and my old handwritten food journals, there it was, one of the missing puzzle pieces to my journey….. I had changed what I was eating and how much.  And I was still eating ALL those points too.  I was eating 4-6 eggs per day and counting 0 points, when in the past they would have cost me 8-12 points.  But they were 0 points now and I could eat them, as much as I wanted…….

Every time I heard a member say they could eat as much as they wanted I would stop them, and we would discuss that it was meant to be as much as they needed to fill satisfied.  And here I was with that same thought process, only I hadn’t realized it ‘til just last week.  No wonder I was struggling!  So, I told myself what I had heard my voice say when talking to struggling members, “just because they are 0 points does not mean they are free!  And it does not mean we need to change the way we eat, just because the food is now 0 points”. 

AHA!  BAM!!  The truth for me was that I needed to eat the way I had been eating for years, the way that worked for me.  And this past week I did just that.  I went back to my egg white omelets in the morning.  I went back to my normal lunch, instead of looking for the 0 point foods and gorging on them.  I went back to healthy snacks that were not just 0 point foods, instead of the sweets and chips that I was eating to use up all those points I had left because the other foods were 0 points.  And you know what, I felt great!  I tracked it all and I stayed on track.  Why didn’t I just do this sooner?  Had I continued eating the way I had been, then Freestyle would have worked fantastically for me!  Instead, my mindset around food changed and my choices did too.  How I wish I had realized this when WW first launched Freestyle, I would not be where I am today (maybe).  But this journey is about learning and growing and finding what works for me so that I can be the healthiest and best version of me. 

Like I said earlier, we each need to find what works for us.  And while I struggled, many others found great success, including a friend and former member of my workshops who reached lifetime today with a 105 lb loss! 

Find what works for you!  There are many things I love about Freestyle—it keeps me from feeling guilty or stressed.  It gives me flexibility.  I love the rollover points, so I can plan for those parties and special occasions and not worry about going off the rails.  But for me, the unstructured 0-point foods were dangerous….. Now that I know that, well I can get back to eating my normal way.  Instead of 2-3 cups of chili AND cornbread (usually 2 pieces, with butter and honey), I am having 1 cup of chili and a piece of cornbread.  Instead of 6 eggs in my day, I am having 1.  Instead of 6 oz of Chicken breast, I am eating 3-4 oz.  It works for me.

Those food realizations and changes, combined with my “make myself a priority” mindset, proved to be quite successful for me this week!

When I stepped on that scale this morning, I was thrilled!  I lost 4.6 lbs this week!!  (yes, I know a lot of it was water, but I LOST!)  And next week that scale will be down again.  Why?  Because I am now making myself a priority!! 

I may not be perfect each day.  But I am perfectly imperfect on this journey to a healthier and happier me!

Accountability and Commitment–Making me a Priority!

On By TerriIn About Me, Inspiration, Mindset2 Comments

A few days ago, I wrote about excuses and that it really comes down to making me a priority.  Since writing that, I have been mindful of making me a priority.  I have been more aware of my thoughts.  And I have been more purposeful in my choices, choosing me as a priority.  It is not pretty or perfect, but I am working on it. 

I have been, still am and will always be a work in progress.

This morning I took a step that made me a priority.  And in the process I found accountability beyond myself and commitment to myself.

I went to a WW Workshop.  And?  What is different about that?  Haven’t I always gone to workshops? 

Well, yes, I have gone to workshops.  I lost my original weight going sitting in those chairs.  I continued to go to workshops even when I worked for Weight Watchers as a Coach…..most of the time, anyway.  And once I quit working as a Coach, I continued going to workshops.  But I didn’t go regularly.  I didn’t want to pay…..

And when I did go, I did not step on the scale.  I didn’t want to see the number written down, though I already knew what the number would be, because I weigh myself at home.  I also didn’t step on the scale because I would be weighing in front of former co-workers, some friends of mine.  I didn’t want them to know how much I was struggling (as if they couldn’t tell by the clothes I wore or the way I looked….).  Excuses.  Excuses.  Excuses!

This morning I had planned to go to the workshop because someone I know was going to reach Lifetime and I wanted to celebrate with him and his wife.  Before yesterday afternoon, I had no plans to step on the scale.  I was just going as support for someone else and this wasn’t about me and my struggles. (yes, more excuses)

And then last night I thought about how I can move forward making me a priority.  And it hit me that workshops are important for me and my goals.  I had been making so many excuses all these months for not going to workshops for me and instead only going as a support for others therefore I did not need to step on the scale.  I was not making me a priority!  I was missing out on a tool that works for me.  A tool that keeps me accountable.  A tool that provides the support I need.

So, I made the decision that when I got up this morning I would go to the workshop and I would pay.  Not just pay for this one workshop, but I would purchase the three-month pass for three months of weekly workshops.  That would be my commitment to me.  Finally!  Commitment to making myself a priority.  No more excuses! 

I was still on the fence about weighing on the scale in front of former co-workers.  I didn’t want them to know.  I didn’t want my weight submitted so that my former bosses could see.  I just wanted to be anonymous.  I wanted to keep it a secret.  But NOT STEPPING ON THE SCALE does not work for me!  I need the accountability.  So, I told myself to suck-it-up buttercup and get on the scale at the workshop regardless of who would see the number.

And I did.  I stepped on the scale.  I hated the number I saw.  I hate that I am not the only one who saw that number.  And you know what, that means that I cannot hide any longer.  I cannot deny any longer.  It is so easy to push the reality deep inside the back of my mind where I don’t think about it, if no one else sees the number.  This morning I went back to what works for me because what I had been doing for a year now, wasn’t.  And the accountability was real.  No denying now.  No hiding behind oversized jackets now.  No excuses! This is real!  This is my journey.  This is me making myself and my health a priority!

At the workshop this morning I found another form of accountability beyond the scale.  I said out loud, in answer to someone else, that I was committed to being there and to myself.  I said I would be there every week.  And then the Coach looked around the room at everyone else and said that they heard me and now were going to hold me accountable to be there and the room all said they would. 

CRAP!  What did I just do??  Now I had to be there every week because they were expecting me to be. 

Good move, Coach! 

When I was a coach, I often said that saying something out loud in the workshop gave everyone accountability, to themselves and to the group.  And now here I was, at the receiving end of that accountability.  THAT is just one of the many reasons that Workshops work for me!

I am listening to me now.  I am making me a priority.  And I am creating accountability beyond just myself.  Because, honestly, accountability just with me, doesn’t work for me.  It is too easy to excuse it away, to hide and to deny.

Next week I will step on the scale again and it will show a loss.  Why?  Because I am making me a priority on this perfectly, imperfect journey!