Tag: #iamworthit

Weekly Accountability- March 25th

On By TerriIn Inspiration, UncategorizedLeave a comment

No, I didn’t post last week.  And I am a day late this week.  But here I am, sharing for accountability. 

The last 2 weeks have been okay.  Not perfect.  Not a failure either.  Just okay.

When I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, the scale didn’t change.  I have maintained the past 2 weeks. 

Before I started writing these accountability posts, maintaining AFTER a gain would have sent me down the hole…. But this time it didn’t.  And it won’t.

I maintained.  This week there were really good days that had me making healthy choices and even getting out and walking.  And then there were days that were super stressful that had me making a few less healthy choices. 

That’s life, right?

It isn’t perfect.  Or easy.  Despite how much we wish it were.

So we learn and we continue, while making adjustments as we go.

Each of us are different.  And we each need to find what works for us.  Because, as I said so many times in the workshops I coached—”what works for one may not work for another, we each need to find what works for us.”

And that is what I have been working on since recommitting to myself, my journey, and my accountability.  Finding and doing what works for me.

How ironic, then, that the theme for WW Workshops this month has been “Do What Works”. 

This theme has hit home with me.  WW has asked us each week to find what works for us, because we all are individuals with different strengths, lives and needs. 

It is so important to find what works for ME.  To make this journey fit my life, my personality, my needs. 

Because really, will I continue on this journey if I HAVE to do it in a way that doesn’t work for me or in a way that doesn’t take into consideration my needs?  NO!  I would NOT do this if I had to do it another person’s way!!

So, what worked for me these last 2 weeks—many things!  And I learned much.

What didn’t—a few things.  And I learned much from those slips as well.

BUT there is one thing, ONE, that I now know, without any doubt, I need on this journey.  ONE thing that without a doubt helps me on this journey!  My workshop.  MY workshop.

So, this week what worked is- (there were many but I am going to focus on one)

               —MY workshop.  (finding the right workshop is important and keeps us attending)

I have been attending a virtual workshop every Thursday mornings.  It is really early for me as the workshop is in another time zone, across the country in another state.  This workshop is the workshop I attended in person from 2006-2009, where I lost my weight and achieved my lifetime goal.  My leader (cuz back then coaches were referred to as Leaders) has retired and no longer coaches, but I still attend.  My friend, the one I went to my first Leader Training with, is now the coach and she is very motivating! 

I started attending this virtual workshop regularly about a month ago.  At that time there was only a 2 hour time difference.  But now it is 3 hours.  I have to be up at 5 am to get ready to attend my workshop (I want to be on video so….)  It is NOT easy to get up and get ready that early every Thursday morning. I could make a lot of excuses NOT to attend.  But this is important.  Because attending a workshop works for me. 

I have not been regular in my workshop attendance since I left Virginia in 2009.  Lots of reasons why.   Lots of excuses NOT to attend. 

No more excuses! 

Workshops work for me.  Period! 

The Workshop is the ONE place where I KNOW I am not alone in my struggles!  Everyone else has been there at one time or another too.  THEY get it!  And there is NO judgement!  Only acceptance!  Workshops are that ONE safe place where I can share my struggles and my triumphs, my aha moments and ask questions and my celebrations. 

Workshops are where I find motivation!  As a coach, I was motivated by those who attended my workshops each week!   As a member, I am motivated by the others attending the workshop and by the Coach and Guide.  So much motivation!

Workshops work for me!  And since they work for me, I am going to keep attending.  (I am hoping WW will keep this virtual workshop going so I can continue to attend from across the country every week and one day I will also go back to in person workshops, when things are a little safer for my health).

What is working for you?  Do you have that ONE thing that you have found that works for you?  What steps are you taking to make sure you do that ONE thing?  How are you making that one thing and YOU a priority?

This journey is hard.  Excuses are easy.  Excuses hold us back and keep us from doing what works for us. 

Here is a quote that a member shared in the workshop I attended this week that really struck home for  me—“Be Stronger Than Your Excuses!”

This week don’t let your excuses get in the way of doing that ONE thing that works for YOU!  

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Weekly Accountability- March 11th

On By TerriIn Food, InspirationLeave a comment

Peanut Butter.  My kryptonite!  I should have know when the Peanut Butter cravings started.  And then I bought and brought home a jar of peanut butter. 

I don’t know what was behind it.  I am still trying to figure it out.  But Peanut Butter happened (my comfort food.  The food I turn to when my emotions are all over the place…. When I need comfort, peace, or…..)

So, when I stepped on the scale this morning, it was not a surprise.  I gained 1.6 lbs.

I know why.  And I know what I need to do. 

Looking back on my week, my imperfect week, I can see some things that did not work and some that did.  I had every intention of having an awesome week—I planned to track, to plan healthy meals, and to move more.  Then the Peanut butter showed up and all plans went right out the window!

So, what worked? 

–I planned healthy meals and made two of them.

–I tracked one day

–I realized what was happening and how out of control I was and that realization led me to update my vision board.  I needed and still need the motivation.

–I attended my virtual workshop this morning.

–I stepped on the scale despite knowing it would be up.

Even on the rough weeks things can still happen that go well.  Growth still happens!

What did I learn?

–When the peanut butter cravings start I need to ask myself what is going on, what is pushing the button to need that comfort.  I knew, but forgot, just how dangerous peanut butter is for me and what it signifies.  I only want it when I am worried or stressed or angry or hurting….. I have been reminded and now I know what to do to NOT eat those emotions!  NO peanut butter can come into the house!  Lesson learned.

–I can get right back on track when I understand and am aware of what is happening and why.  Awareness is one key to getting back on track.

–One week does NOT negate ALL my progress!

–I do NOT like Peanut Butter!  Huh?  You read that right.  I do NOT like Peanut Butter.  Unless, I need it for comfort and then it takes me back to my childhood and reminds me of my mom. 

–and once again, I see that a slip is NOT failure!  It is feedback.  An opportunity to learn what works and what doesn’t.  And it creates another stepping stone on my path to success.

It was one of THOSE weeks.  Peanut Butter happened.  But it is NOT the end of my journey.  I did NOT give up!  I found a way to motivate myself (you can read that here) and to acknowledge what was going on.  And then I got back on track, back to taking care of me, and back to putting me first.

How do you handle emotions?  What is your kryptonite?  How do you get back on track after one of THOSE weeks? 

Vision Board Anchor

On By TerriIn Inspiration, UncategorizedLeave a comment

This is one of THOSE weeks.  The imperfect in this journey.  I don’t know why.  I don’t know what set this off.  But it is just one of THOSE weeks.  And THOSE weeks happen (more about the week tomorrow in my weekly accountability post). 

Yesterday afternoon I had finally had it.  My stomach hurt.  I didn’t feel well, physically.  And I was angry with myself and embarrassed. 

Me?  How could I eat all that?  What happened to the valve that “turns off” eating?  Mine was definitely broken.

It was then, in the midst of beating myself up, that I remembered the photo collage I had created years ago, to motivate me to stay at my goal and to keep working on being the healthiest me I could be.  The photo used to hang on my refrigerator…. But hadn’t been there in over a year.  Where was it?

I searched through all my things until I found it- the photo collage of my before and after pics along with a question/statement that helps me to stay focused. One of my anchors.

As I sat at the table, putting the photo onto another paper to frame it, I remembered the vision board I had created years ago and realized it was in the back of the closet.  Well, if this photo will help motivate me then surely my vision board would too!

So, I found the board.  It needed updating.  (the last activity goal on there was for January 2020….. )  I sat at my kitchen table, with bright colored paper and my marker and created a board that would motivate me. 

–The collage photo with the question “Which YOU do you want to be?  Only YOU can choose!” prominently displayed on my vision board.

–Two strings tacked along the top with small clothespins, each representing one pound.  The top string for the pounds I had left to lose.  The bottom string for the pounds I had lost.  Visual motivation! 

–Quotes to motivate me!

–A list of the things that WORK for me!

–Twos questions I ended every workshop I coached with- “Can I?  Will I?”  Powerful questions to ask.  Yes, I CAN.  But the real question is always WILL I?  WILL I do what I need to do?  And if not, then what WILL I do to help move me forward? 

–My activity goal, updated to reflect my goal for January 2022—when I complete the She Power 5k.  My goal is for it to be my fastest 5k EVER. 

This vision board is motivating for me.  The board sits on my counter, where I see it multiple times a day.  An anchor, to ground me to my journey and remind me what I am doing. 

And the photo is back on my refrigerator and now also in my pantry, hanging from the shelf in front of the snacks.  Anchors to remind me to check with myself BEFORE I grab food to eat—which one am I choosing?  Anchors to remind me to choose ME!

Anchors keep us moving forward.  They remind us why we are doing what we are doing, why we want to keep going, and what we are working toward.  If you want to know a little more about anchors, I wrote about them on another blog in 2017 and you can read about them here and see what my anchors have been on my journey. 

How do you motivate yourself?  How do you keep going when you have had an imperfect day?  What are your anchors? 

This week (heck the past year) has truly shown me that this journey is an imperfect one, a perfectly imperfect journey!

Weekly Accountability- March 4th

On By TerriIn Mindset, Uncategorized3 Comments

Last week I committed to a weekly update post on my progress as another form of accountability for me on my journey.  Though I am posting this a day later than planned, I did weigh in yesterday (March 4th) and I did attend my virtual workshop yesterday morning. 

Accountability is important.  It helps to keep me in check.  It helps to keep me honest. 

Yesterday morning when I stepped on the scale, I was expecting to see a gain.  Yes, it was that kind of week as far as food went.  And a gain would not have surprised me.  I was, however, quite happy when I saw that the scale did not change.  I maintained!  THAT is a victory for me, after the week I had. 

Last week’s topic about Non-Scale Victories (NSV’s) had me focusing on those this week and less on what number I may or may not see on the scale.  I think that focusing on those things that tell me I am changing and that I am moving forward on this journey, helped my mindset this week. 

It was a rough week, but I did not fail.  Life happens.  Life will always happen.  There are going to be days and weeks that just do not go as planned.  Focusing on other means of seeing change and success is important if I am going to stay motivated and if I am going to keep moving forward!  VERY important! 

Afterall, mindset is a HUGE part of this journey and has the greatest impact on my choices! 

So this week, what worked for me?  What were my NSV’s, those moments I am proud of?

               –I tracked, even the days that I ate way over my daily points and even after those weekly extras were gone!  I tracked 6 out of 7 days this week!  Yay!! 

               –I meal planned and created my grocery list from that in preparation for this next week.  I was reminded this week that I really do need to have that meal plan, and the foods on hand to create those meals in order to not make a run for fast food or to not order the pizza.  I also need easy and quick meals that I can make on those very busy days and those were added to my grocery list.  Preparing for any situation. 

               –I was able to walk a little more than the previous week because the daily pain is getting better!  I NEVER thought I would be THAT person who WANTED to move more or exercise, until I couldn’t.  Now I am excited that I may be back to long walks soon!

               –I used my calm app 4 days this week.  Taking care of me is important, but it is the thing I let go of first when life gets crazy.  I am getting back to those things that give me a few minutes to just breathe.  Just. Breathe.  Taking care of me first means I can take care of everyone and everything else! 

My week may not have gone how I planned it to go and the scale may not have gone down.  But I am still moving forward.  I am still changing.  I am still learning. 

One-step-at-a-time!

One-day-at-a-time!

One-NSV-at-a-time!

What was your success this past week?  What did you learn?  How do you know you are moving forward when the scales doesn’t show that?  What are your NSV’s?

This imperfect journey is perfect for me!

The Saboteur on My Shoulder

On By TerriIn Food, MindsetLeave a comment

You know that old adage about the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other?

Well, I have a Saboteur on one shoulder.  And that Saboteur (my negative self) has been loud and in control more than I would like to admit and far more than the Supporter (my positive self) on my other shoulder has been. 

How do I know? 

I start every day with the same conversation with myself—“Okay, today it is time to get back on track.  Today is the day! Time to get serious!” and sometimes that conversation has some not-so-nice things to say about me.  I chastise myself for the choices I made the day before, but I KNOW that this is a new day and I CAN change that….. until I don’t….

And the Saboteur becomes the louder once again. 

The conversations with myself continue all day.  “Come on, you can have this _____ (insert anything sugary, salty and high in calories, including an entire bag of chips!)”  “You have plenty of time to reach your goal.  One day won’t hurt!  You can start tomorrow!”  “You had a healthy breakfast so these chips (or donuts or cookies) won’t hurt!”  “You went for a long walk today, why not reward yourself?  You deserve this!” 

And the conversation then continues into the night, with me ending the day in the same way that it started—“Seriously?!  You have got to get a hold on this!  You have got to do something.”  “Okay, in the morning I will!  No more messing around!” and these things are followed by some not-so-kind things about me once again.

And then the next day is a repeat… the same conversations, the same behaviors….

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

The Saboteur is very good at her job…every day she entices me to make the choices that lead me away from becoming the very best and healthiest version of me and she makes me doubt myself along the way.  She does this by disguising her words in positives to trick my mind- “Tomorrow is a new day, you can start over.”  Or “You deserve this” or “You went for your walk and have eaten healthy, you deserve a treat.”  These and many other tricks of the mind are what the Saboteur uses to get me off track.

The Saboteur on my shoulder has been louder than my Supporter, who just shrinks away, thinking it is a losing battle at this point.  But is it?  Really?  Is there nothing I can do to quiet the Saboteur and increase the volume and power of the Supporter? 

Actually, there is!  And it is all up to me! 

How??

Awareness is the first step.

I have been reflecting on this for a few weeks now, really paying attention to the voices I hear and what is driving them.  And this is empowering ME!  I am more aware of what is happening and who is louder- The Saboteur or the Supporter. Awareness is necessary for change to occur. Awareness is THE key to quieting the Saboteur so that I can hear the Supporter!

You see, both the Saboteur and the Supporter are part of me.  They come from me.  They are born of my mind, my thoughts and my feelings.  They both affect my mindset and are affected by my mindset.  They both affect my emotions and are affected by my emotions.  They both affect my thoughts and are affected by my thoughts. 

These two are pretty powerful.  They are me.  I am the Saboteur and I am the Supporter!

I have learned that the Saboteur becomes more powerful when my emotions are at play—boredom, loneliness, worry, stress, and even joy….so many emotions at play. The less time I spend taking care of me allows the Saboteur to become louder.  The more mindless I become in my daily living, the more the Saboteur takes over.  And the Saboteur gains strength from my negative self-talk, my lack of belief in myself and from my stubborn self.

I have also discovered that there are some things that make the Saboteur quieter and allow the Supporter, who is naturally quieter, to become louder. 

What quiets the Saboteur so I can hear the Supporter?— Forgiveness!  Mindfulness—in my everyday living!  Self Worth—believing I am worth it!  Taking care of me!  Calm!  Positive self-talk!  Patience (a REALLY hard one for me)!  Time outdoors!  Family time!  Writing!  Walks!  And most importantly- Starting my day with these words “I am Worth It” BEFORE the Saboteur has a chance to say ANYTHING!  

The power is within me.  I get to choose which voice I listen to.  I get to choose how I react.  I get to choose to take care of me first, thus quieting the Saboteur.  I empower myself when I CHOOSE!    

I am in charge!!

THAT realization is so empowering!! 

Though the Saboteur has been loud the past few months and been in control far more than I would like, I am a NOT a failure!  I am still learning.   I am still growing. 

I am not perfect on this journey and I sometimes stumble. And then, awareness helps me find my way back! I may not silence the Saboteur forever, but I can make the Saboteur whisper (which is easier to ignore) and give power to the Supporter to be louder.  I can use the tools and techniques I have learned through the years and pull them out when I need them.  

This journey I am on, that we all are on, is not perfect!  Far from it!  Perfection is not important on this journey.  Perseverance is.  Progress is. Growth is.

I will keep on going, keep on learning, and keep on believing in me! 

(FYI- as I post this, the Saboteur is whispering in my ear that I should make brownies tonight, that that would be a real treat for my husband…. And I am NOT letting that voice get any louder than a whisper!) 

I Am Worth It!

On By TerriIn About Me, Mindset2 Comments

This week’s topic “Ease Emotions without food” really talks to what I have written about a couple of times already.  And it applies to my journey and my AHA moment on my journey to goal and lifetime.  I am an emotional eater, but you already know that.  So, I wanted to share my story, my beginning with you to let you know where I come from on my journey. 

I joined Weight Watchers for the 5th time in March 2006, after having tried many different methods/programs to lose my weight.  I had tried meetings 4 times before and I never reached my goal….. I never lost more than 20 lbs on Weight Watchers.  But I needed to do something.

My doctor had suggested that I lose just 20 lbs.  I had back issues that would land me in the hospital every couple of years, in immense pain and unable to walk much.  He thought that losing “just 20 lbs” would help take some of the pressure off my back, and hopefully would help me get to a point of not having to have back surgery, something I was adamantly against. 

While the suggestion from my doctor had me thinking about joining Weight Watchers again, it was what happened the night before I joined that really got me through the door.

I was in the kitchen, standing in front of the sink with an open bag of Oreo cookies in one hand and tears flowing down my cheeks.  I was shoveling those cookies in my mouth, eating them without tasting them.  And talking to myself, out loud.  I was hurt and angry and not being kind to me at that moment. 

And then I said the words, out loud, that made me stop dead in my tracks—“Terri, you are killing yourself…… and I DON’T care, no one does, and no one will care when I am gone”.

Talk about a smack upside the head and a moment that made me hold my breath.  Did I really think that?  Did I really not care that my overeating was killing me?  That one day this unhealthy way of living would be the end of me?   Saying those words out loud, actually hearing myself say them, well it scared me.  I HAD to do something.

And I did.  The next morning, I walked into that Weight Watchers meeting.  I was scared, nervous and ashamed.  I had been to that meeting before and I didn’t want to see anyone I had seen before.  I was at my highest weight, ever!  And I was embarrassed.  Something had to change.

I sat through the meetings that first year, which was the longest I had stuck with Weight Watchers.  I learned to track my food, to eat the right portions and to make healthier choices.  I was making friends in my meeting and I felt safe.  I also loved my leader, she inspired me each week and she cared about me and the other members.  And that made a huge difference for me. 

I lost 20 lbs that first year.  The most I had ever lost on my attempts with Weight Watchers.  But I was struggling and I couldn’t seem to push past that 20 lbs.  I still had over 50 lbs to go.  I was feeling frustrated and was on the verge of giving up.

It was at that point that my leader gave me a popsicle stick…. She said it was to remind me to stick to it.  I took it home and taped the popsicle stick to my pantry door, where my comfort foods waited for me to eat them.  Later that same day I got a phone call from a family member.  That phone call upset me and when I hung up the phone the first thing I did was walk straight to the pantry.  I wanted… NEEDED… the peanut butter, chips, cookies…. anything that I could eat that would stuff those emotions all back deep inside me.

And then I saw it…. The popsicle stick.  I stopped.  I did not open the pantry door.  Instead I turned around and sat down on the couch.  And then it hit me!  I am a food addict.  Food was my answer to anything in my life and food was the answer to how I felt about myself and how I dealt with the pain of my abusive childhood. 

That AHA moment changed everything for me.  I realized in that moment that I did not think I was worth it.  I was not worth the effort it would take to lose the weight and get healthy.  I spent my young years and teen years being told just how worthless I was, and I realized in that moment that I believed I WAS worthless.

I knew I needed to change something or I would never succeed at this journey… or at anything in my life.  I sat there and cried.  And then I grabbed my laptop and I began to write what was to become my weight loss journal.  And I titled it “Stop Eating Your Emotions”.  It was while I was writing that I decided I needed to start each morning looking in the mirror and saying 4 words.  Those 4 words are the most empowering words I have EVER said to myself:

I AM WORHT IT!

I started saying those words the next morning.  And I did not believe it.  But I kept saying those 4 words, every morning.  I did not believe them that first week, or the next.  It was a couple of months of saying those 4 very empowering words before I started to believe them.

I am worth it!

I am worth more than that jar of peanut butter.  I am worth more than the chips, cookies, cake, ice cream and candy.  I am worth it to go to my meeting every week and I am worth taking care of.

Those 4 words changed EVERYTHING for me.

It took me another 10 months to lose my last 52 lbs.  I lost 72 lbs to reach my goal weight.  I felt amazing!  I liked myself and I believed I was worth it.

I reached my goal weight on January 10, 2008 and lifetime 6 weeks late on February 14, 2008.  I had done it! 

And while I am now 23 lbs over my goal (I weighed in today and lost another 1 lb for a total of 2.4 lbs in 2 weeks), I KNOW I will NOT go back to the girl I was before Weight Watchers changed my life.  While I forget some days, especially during the difficult times I have had these past few years, that I am worth it, it is easier for me to get back to that mindset, easier to remember that I am worth it! 

I am not that little girl any longer, the girl filled with pain and wanting to stuff the uncomfortable feelings deep inside.  I am not the girl who didn’t care that I was killing myself, slowly.  When tough days come, I remember how far I have come.  The weight has gone up a little, but because of the confidence and self-worth I gained on my journey to goal and because of the tools I keep in my back pocket, I can stop the gain before I lose too much control.  And that is the difference between the “me” of today, and the “me” before Weight Watchers.

I am worth it! 

No matter how imperfect.  No matter how many slips I may have.  I am worth it!  And this journey is worth it! 

I still have the popsicle stick that my leader gave me all those years ago.  It is now tucked away in a keepsake box…. maybe it is time to bring it back out and tape it onto my pantry door…. A gentle reminder that I can do this and that I am worth it!