“Just 20 lbs, that’s all”
This was said to me by my doctor in 2006 after I had thrown my back out. Just 20 lbs and my back would have less stress on it and feel better. He was right. Losing those 20 lbs helped. But I didn’t stop with just 20 lbs. I went on to lose 85 lbs, reaching my goal weight in January 2008. I vowed then, that I would NEVER need to hear those words again. I was NOT going back to daily pain in my back. Not after finally finding freedom from the pain.
And then, a couple of weeks ago another doctor said to me, “Just 20 lbs”. There it was. Those words again…… Only this time, it wasn’t my back that prompted those words, it was my hip.
I have had pain in my hip, at times so severe I can’t stand, walk or sleep. So, I went to the orthopedic and heard those words again. Weight gain affects so much more than my self-esteem and how I see myself, it also affects my health and my body. My hip is not happy with this weight gain and no matter how many times I tell myself it is time to do something about it, I sabotage myself.
Yes, I sabotage myself.
16 years later, hearing those words again hit me hard. I am NOT back where I once was (now needing to lose 35lbs not 85 lbs), but I am at a weight that is not healthy for me. And healthy is far more important than how I look. I have goals. I want to participate in my granddaughter’s life, not watch. I want to live to a very old age and enjoy my life, not spend it watching from the sidelines. I want to hike and enjoy the outdoors. I want to skip down main street at the Magic Kingdom in Disney World. I want to go on walks with my husband, swim in the pool, shop, dance and so many other things that require my hip and my back to be healthy.
So, I am working on it. Imperfectly. But working on it. I have started to make changes. I am working to change my mindset. I am sabotaging myself a little less each day (I am not perfect and still fight that sabotage, while acknowledging the wins along the way)
Just 20 lbs. and then more……